Month: June 2023

Birthdays

For most, birthdays are significant. It marks another revolution around the sun. Another year of thriving, surviving, or something in between. It is a cause for celebration and reflection.

Today I am celebrating another year. The older I get, the more precious these are. We all have friends and family who will not see another birthday.

I have not always been in a celebratory mood on my birthday. If you recall my last post, I talked about the last time I saw my father. Originally, I wasn’t going to stop at the house to see him that night. Why would I stop? After all, I was going to see him the next day when we gathered to celebrate my birthday.

For many years my birthday has been a painful reminder of one of my darkest days. I can still hear the quiver in my mother’s voice as she told me my father had unexpectedly passed away. I remember the spot I was standing when I received word. I was golfing at the time and had to tell the golf group what had happened. We were all young, far too young to experience this.

Since that day, I have worked to use the day not only to reflect and mourn what was lost that day but also to celebrate. So today, I will take time to reflect on my father. The gifts he gave me. I’ll tell him what has happened over the last year. I will honor him.

I will also celebrate. My celebration today will be different. Today, for the first time, I will be celebrating my birthday with the woman the gave birth to me. So today should be a very good day.

27 years

The picture attached to this post is of my father. This picture captures so much about him.

You can see the intensity in his eyes and his constant drive for precision and perfection. His subtle smile lets you know his joy of sailing and being captain of the ship. His firm yet relaxed grip on the tiller lets all know he was in control. Though his smile wasn’t always present, the other traits were.

Perhaps the only things missing in this photo are a cigarette and a martini. But perhaps he didn’t need those when he was captain of the ship.

Today marks 27 years since I last saw him alive. I still remember the voice telling me to stop by my parent’s house that night. I remember having a great conversation with my dad though I do not recall what we discussed. I remember hugging him, telling him I would see him tomorrow, that I loved him and leaving. And I remember the phone call with my mother the following day when she told me the terrible news that my father had died. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. But it wasn’t yesterday it was 27 years ago.