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JMH Blog

Sireadh Toileachas

It has been some time since I have blogged. I have many excuses. Work is busy. Life is busy. The dog ate my computer. But the truth is I have not made writing a priority.

Those that have followed this blog (all 5 of you) may notice I have changed the title. The new title is Sireadh Toileachas – which means seek happiness in Gaelic (Scottish). I changed the title for a few reasons. First, change is good. Though I am uncomfortable with change, my life is better when I include change – hopefully for the better. Second, Scotland is in my blood. According to Ancestry DNA, I am 18% Scottish – also 28% England & Northwestern Europe, 14% Irish, and 5% Welsh. 23andMe classifies me as 58.7 British & Irish – clearly they don’t know there is a difference!!! Also, my middle name is Scottish. Third, I recently returned from a trip to Scotland and remain in love with the country.

But the most important reason, is I haven’t been as happy or healthy in recent months. The title was no longer accurate. A new title is needed to better reflect where I am. Further, the new title describes happiness as a journey rather than a destination.

I believe it is better to focus on the journey than the destination. I’ll write more about the experience of the journey. This may include a discussion of things I am working on to improve the world around me. This could include things that I have tried that didn’t work. It will definitely include any travel or adventures.

This blog and adventure began with my description of my three steps to success – focus, facts, and forgiveness. Focus on what you want to achieve AND why. Gather the facts, prepare a plan based on facts, implement the plan, and make adjustments. Finally, forgive yourself when you lose focus or deviate from the plan. Forgiveness allows you to restart the journey.

In recent months, I forgot about the importance of these three steps. As a result, I have slipped. Bill Gates gave a commencement speech titled “5 things I wish I heard at the graduation I never had”. He reminded all that life is not a one-act play. So, it’s time to start over and make health and happiness a priority. Over the last few years, I have relearned that life is full of second chances.

I close with an interesting anecdote about the new title. After I decided on the title, I typed the name into a search engine to find out more information and verify its meaning. Unfortunately, my short and chubby fingers accidentally misspelled the title. Instead of Sireadh Toilechas, I typed Sireadh Touleachas. Only one letter different but completely different meaning. Turns out Sireadh Touleachas means “seek help.” While I find this phrase wise and I try to apply it in my life, it is not the title I want for my blog. So for now, the title is Sireadh Toilechas – seek happiness.

Until next time – Slàinte Mhath – look it up.

Behind Every Picture is a Story

It’s been a while since I posted here. I could provide a list of excuses but that is all they are. Today, I want to talk about pictures, the stories they tell, and the stories behind them.

I have always loved taking pictures. From my first Kodak Instamtic to my present Nikon Z6, I have loved to capture moments. I don’t like to stage the moments (which is why I abhor portrait photography). I refused to spend money on a “good” camera for many years because it was just a hobby. Then one year I asked my wife to buy me a camera for Christmas – which she did!

I started by taking pictures of the birds in our backyard. When the snow melted, I took pictures of my son playing tennis.

Any parent who has watched his/her child compete in sports understands how nerve-racking this can be. I found it calmed my nerves. It allowed me to enjoy watching my son and his friends play without excessive nervousness. So I kept doing it.

Taking pictures of my son playing tennis evolved into taking pictures of my son, his team, and his friends. Eventually, I started taking pictures at Augustana sporting events. Sharing the pictures with the student-athletes and coaches. (I have taken pictures at all sports except golf (I tried but got the time wrong), track, and cross-country (maybe someday).

(still my favorite picture)

Truth is, I am not very good but I occasionally get lucky. I have no formal training. For every picture that turns out, there are ten failures. I have spent countless hours going through the pictures and deleting them. Nobody sees that side of the hobby.

I try to capture moments – like this.

And action like this.

Behind every picture is a story. The picture at the top of this post has a great story. I will think of the story every time I look at it. It’s not a great-quality picture BUT it captured a moment. The picture is of legendary Augustana basketball coach Dave Krauth. Since 1989, he has been the Head Women’s Basketball coach at Augustana University. Thirty-two seasons with only one season below .500. He coached his last game this week. A heartbreaking one-point loss in the NCAA Tournament.

I took this picture a couple of weeks ago. It was taken during the pregame of his final coaching win. I was wandering around the arena during warmups. As Coach Krauth was heading into the locker room, a fan named Scottie (if have been to Augie games you know who this is) began thanking Coach Krauth for his service and wishing him good luck in the game. It was a special conversation. As the conversation started, my camera was off and the lens cap was on. I noticed the smile on Coach Krauth’s face. It was genuine, kind, and rare in the arena. Quickly, I turned my camera on, removed the lens cap, and tried to capture the moment.

My autofocus didn’t fully focus and my framing was off. Yet, I mostly captured this moment. This picture will always be special to me because I know the story behind the picture. And now you know the rest of the story.

Christmas Eve

It is December 24.  It is a day when families and friends gather to begin Christmas celebrations. Growing up, our family would gather on Christmas eve with friends. We would have oyster stew, cheese plates, and other hors d’oeuvres.  Sometimes my parents would let me have a glass of wine or coke.  Because my father was born on December 24, we also had a birthday cake and gave him presents. At the end of the evening, the kids could open one present before bed.  We capped the evening off by opening ONE present. We always chose the gift from Grandma Harris because she ALWAYS bought us pajamas from the JC Penny in Aberdeen. 

When my father passed away, Christmas eve became a painful reminder of what was lost when he passed. I didn’t really enjoy it much. However, there were two events that changed my view. 

The first was Christmas eve 2001. It was the first Christmas of my marriage.  My wife, our oldest son, and mother traveled to our cabin in the Black Hills.  There is an incredible church in Lead, South Dakota.  It was built in the late 19th/early 20th century. Its Christmas Eve service is amazing. In 2001, the music, the service, the faith, and the fellowship were special. Words can not adequately describe the experience. The church is small, old, and quaint. The pews are wood. The lighting is poor and it was even darker for the late evening service. The sermon gave a great message though I can’t remember what was said. What I do remember is the music. There were two professional musicians with local ties. They shared their gifts with us. Somewhere, I still have the bulletin. To share this experience with my new wife, mother, and oldest son was special. It was the first Christmas Eve after my father’s passing that was not painful. The second was Christmas eve 2018. I’ve written about this before so I won’t bore you with the details.  Long story short, I am adopted. On Christmas eve 2018, after a long search, I received the first communication from my birth mother. It was an overwhelming feeling that I continue to process. Christmas eve is a time of new beginnings and connections.

Tonight, our family will gather. We have established our own traditions which include oyster stew and cheese plate. In recent years, I have purchased five different types of cheese at a local establishment. We all taste, critique, and vote for our favorite. We also enjoy each other’s company. Tomorrow, we will open gifts because it is our tradition to open gifts on Christmas day. From my house to yours, Merry Christmas.

Weekend Musings

This past week was one of corporate Christmas celebrations (i.e. an introvert nightmare). I had four Christmas parties, three work lunches, and big weekend plans.

While my eating (grazing) at the Christmas parties was poor, I continue to make exercise a priority. My morning walk (outside or on the treadmill) has become my sanctuary. During this time, I think, observe, read, listen, or exist for a few moments every day. It frees my mind and gets me ready for the day. The specific way I use this time varies. Sometimes I reflect a n what has happened. Other times plan and/or strategize my day, week, or month. I always spend a portion of the time in gratitude. At the end, I am ready to take on the day.

To be honest, today has already been tumultuous. I wasn’t supposed to get moments on the treadmill today but I did. These moments walking in solitude allow me to refocus so I can attack the day. Today I am ready.

In closing, the experts said it will snow a couple of inches last night. The experts missed the mark. It happens. So today we adapt, adjust, and enjoy the gifts we have been given. Enjoy the weekend.

2022 Gratitude Challenge Wrap

After 31 days, the 2022 Gratitude Challenge has come to a close. This is the third time I have done this challenge. Each time, I learned more about myself. I am more aware of the importance of gratitude. I find myself complaining less (even during Viking games). I am more appreciative of what is going on around me. I shift my focus on what is and what I can control.

Yesterday, I saw a portion of an interview with Charlie Munger (at 3:30 of the clip). In the interview, Munger asserts that even with all the progress humans have made, we are less happy. Technology, medicine, and other improvements have made our lives easier but we are less happy. Why are we less happy? While some would argue it is greed, Munger argues it is because of envy. Humans often want what others have that they don’t.

I think Munger is on to something. We spend so much time obsessing about what we don’t have. We want the latest gadget. All sorts of lists tell us what the “Hottest Christmas” gift is this year. The anecdote to envy is gratitude. Be grateful for what have. When you focus on what you have, you will find you have an abundance. Have a great weekend.

Day 31 Gratitude Challenge Bonus Day

When doing a challenge like this every day, it is easy to miss gratitude opportunities. If you haven’t figured it out by now, there is much to be grateful for. I know I have not included important people, groups of people, things, or experiences in postings. This challenge could be a year and I would still miss a few things.

Yet, my gratitude challenge is not complete unless I talk about about the two young men who are my sons. I am so grateful for both of my sons. It has been a joy to watch them develop and grow into amazing human beings. My oldest graduated from college and earned a master’s degree in public policy. He is currently working in a job where he has the opportunity to shape the world around him for the better. He is married to an amazing woman. I get to see them in a couple of weeks and can’t wait. My youngest is in college. He is doing great. He has a wonderful group of friends, a vision for the future, and the drive to succeed. While I saw him over Thanksgiving break, it was too short. He will be home for Christmas break and it will be wonderful to have him home. The best will be when they are both home over Christmas.

If you have children (furry kind count), take time to be grateful for them. They grow up quickly and leave the house. Send them a note letting them know you are thinking about them.

Day 30 Gratitude Challenge

A few days ago, the Wall Street Journal had an article about the financial benefits of marriage. The data indicates that married couples have a higher net worth than couples who cohabitate. While there is no definitive explanation for this, there are some theories. You can read the article here. I have my own theory about this that I might share later.

I hope everyone has a person in their life they can count on no matter what. A person that picks you up when you are down. A person that cheers the loudest when you succeed. A person that listens to your concerns and helps you problem solve. A person that loves you unconditionally. A person who is a true partner in life.

I am fortunate to have such a person in my life. For over 20 years she has been my rock. I don’t know what I did to deserve such an amazing person as my wife. Today I am grateful for my best friend, travel partner, business partner, girlfriend, and wife. I can’t imagine what life would be like without you.

Today is the last day of the Gratitude Challenge. Have you noticed a change? More about that tomorrow.

Day 29 Gratitude Challenge

It is late November in the upper plains. This means cooler (cold) weather and shorter days. It also means snow. This morning I woke up to snow on the ground. While I am grateful for the beauty and moisture of the snowfall, this is not the focus of the post today.

Today I am thinking about my parents. I am thinking about the decisions and sacrifices they made to provide me with the opportunities I had. Not all are as fortunate as I am. The older I get, the more I realize this.

My parents made sure my basic needs were met. I never had to worry if there would be enough food or if we would have a home. I have always had an abundance of clothes (even if my parents would t buy the new Nike and instead purchased the Keds knockoff!😜)

After years of parenting through the Great Recession and the pandemic, I realize how challenging it must have been for my parents. Were they perfect? No. Did they make mistakes? Probably. However, they did the best they could with the tools they were given. In my opinion, they did a damn great old job. My faults and flaws are of my own making, not theirs. Unfortunately, my parents have passed and I can’t personally thank them for all they did. Perhaps you can take some time to think about your parents today. Think about the sacrifices they made for you. Did they attend your performances, concerts, recitals, games, and/or conferences? If so, they gave up something to be there. If your parents are still living, give them a call or write a letter. Let them know about the good things they did for you.

And one final thing, nothing screams “I love you” more than 70s fashion. The wide white belt and a turtleneck. Enjoy the picture.

Day 27 Gratitude Challenge

Yesterday was a good day for at least two reasons. First, it was the annual “Gathering” of family of my wife’s side. As legend has it, the “Gathering” was started by my wife’s grandmother. It takes place on the Saturday following Thanksgiving. When I first attended the gathering, it was hosted (on a rotating basis) by the siblings (children’s of wife’s grandma). In recent years, hosting duties descended to the cousins (we hosted last year). About 30 people (3 generations) gather for food (potluck style), laughter, stories, and a gift exchange. It is an amazing group of people with a wide variety of interests and talents. It has become a highlight of my year. I am grateful for family and kinship. I am grateful this group has welcomed me with open arms and accepted me as one of their own. I am so lucky to have become a part of this family. It was a great ti,e last night.

Second reason yesterday was good…Michigan beat Ohio State in football. I don’t measure my worth based on whether one of my favorite teams beats an arch rival BUT my day is definitely better when they do. I am grateful for spectacle that is college football. The excitement and energy of game day is amazing. Someday I hope to attend “The Game” in person.

Take some time today to be grateful for extended family. Reach out to a few and see how they are doing. As we move into holiday season, remember the importance of family and gratitude.

Day 28 Gratitude Challenge

All of this started because Jeff, my oldest brother, died. My struggle to cope and adapt continues. While I have written a lot about my brother Jeff, I haven’t written a lot about my brother Matt (or other siblings). This isn’t because they are irrelevant or not important. In fact, the opposite is true. They are very important and very relevant.

Genetically, my brother Matt is very similar to Jeff. However, the two could not be more different. Matt is younger. Matt’s personality is different. Jeff was more serious while Matt is happy and mischievous. Growing up, I was closer to Matt as he lived in our home until he 20. I helped take care or Matt.

My brother lives close to me. I visit him occasionally but not nearly enough. Every time I visit my brother, I feel better about life. His smile and attitude are infectious. I could write more but I think you understand how wonderful he is.

Though I only wrote about one, I am grateful for all my siblings. (I have 7 siblings – it’s complicated). Take time to express gratitude to one or all of your siblings today.

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