Author: HarrisGroup

JMH Blog

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.” Paul Lewis Boese

I’ve written about the importance of focus and facts. The why and the how are essential to creating and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. In future posts, I will write more on each.

Today, I want to briefly touch on the topic that brings it all together. Forgiveness is essential if you are going to succeed. There are too many distractions, temptations, stressors, and other factors which cause us to lose focus. You will stumble and make mistakes in this journey. You must be able to move on when this happens.

According to one dictionary, forgiveness is “to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)” Christian tradition talks about the importance of forgiving others who commit sins. The forgiveness allows you to move past the incident in which you were wronged. Forgiving others is essential to a healthy life.

But this post is not about forgiving others. Others didn’t force you to make unhealthy choices. You make the unhealthy choices. You make mistakes. You must learn to forgive yourself when you make the mistakes. Learn from your mistakes but don’t dwell. Learning to forgive yourself slows you to grow your future and move on.

This time of year is challenging. Between the temptation of Christmas parties and Christmas cookies, weight loss is hard. I remember this time last year. I had made good progress in my weight loss journey. Then came Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I deviated from my meal plan. I ate mostly foods that are not healthy. They tasted good but they weren’t healthy.

After Christmas, I stepped on the scale and was devastated. I had gained 8 pounds in a matter of a couple of days. At that moment, I could have given up and said it wasn’t worth it. Instead, I forgave myself for over indulging. I reminded myself that spending time with people that I love eating good food is a good thing. Further, Christmas only comes once a year (except on the Hallmark channel). Fix the problem and move on.

I recommitted to my journey and began anew. I focused on eating healthy again. I explored why such a significant weight gain occurred in such a short period of time. Most of the weight was retained water. I’ve learned that some foods, particularly prepackaged and restaurant foods, contain a lot of sodium. When I eat this kind of food, I quickly gain a large amount of weight. Also, cheese. Really good cheese.

I continued to drink my daily water, eat natural foods, and control my portions. The result was instant. Within a few days, the weight I had gained over Christmas was gone. And I was back on the path to a healthy life. It set me back a week but that’s okay. What is a week compared to a lifetime.

I had a similar experience a couple weekends ago. My wife and I went out of town to visit our son at college. We ate out, drank beer, and had a wonderful time. Yet, upon my return home I was discouraged when I stepped on the scale. But again, I forgave myself and committed to eating healthy again. Things were back to normal within a couple of days.

As you wind through the Christmas season, take moments to enjoy friends and family. Go ahead and eat that cookie. Just don’t eat three cookies. And, if you do eat three cookies, forgive yourself and move on. Your goal should be excellence not perfection.

The Tool

Over the past couple of months I have blogged about the mindset I needed to achieve my healthier life. In my opinion, mindset is the most important factor. If your mind is not in the game, you will never win.

I have been asked hundreds of times, “How did you do it?” My short answer is eat less. My body burns calories to keep itself going. I consume calories for my body to burn. If I can consume fewer calories than I burn on a consistent basis, I will lose weight. Unless there is some metabolic issue, it really is that simple.

However, there are challenges in finding the right mix of calories. You need calories that sustain you, satisfy you, and are good for you. You need to balance your physical cravings against your emotional cravings. This is not easy.

When I started this journey, I knew I needed help. I needed a tool. As I indicated in previous posts, I have read mini “diet” books. Those books provided short term but not long-term success. I considered Sanford Profile because it has a local presence. I know several people have had success with Profile. Many seem to have short term not long-term success. One person told me “Profile has worked every time I have used it.” After checking into it, I determined Sanford Profile is a solid program. It is backed by science and supported by health professionals. I did not go with Profile because I felt the upfront and ongoing costs were too high. Further, I did not like the calorie restriction that was recommended as I thought it was too restrictive. Finally, I am not a fan of shake based diets. With the above being said, I would encourage people to look at Profile as it may be a good fit for you.

The program I chose was Noom. I had seen multiple advertisements for it. I researched it by reading several articles and reviews. All of the reviews seemed to check the boxes that I was looking for. First, Noom appears safe and backed by proven scientific methods. Second, Noom provides good results. Third, Noom is a fully supported and integrated app. Fourth, Noom doesn’t require subscription to special supplements or shakes. Fifth, Noom is affordable AND there was a 14 day trial period.

If you are interested in using Noom, you can use this link to sign up. This link will give you 20% off and you get a free trial. If you use this link and become a subscriber, I do receive a benefit. I will use the value of any initial proceeds to pay for this subscription to host this blog. All further proceeds will be donated to Dakotabilities where my brother lives.

Over the next few entries, I will write more about Noom. It is not a “perfect” system. However, it is a very good system and it worked for me. Recently, I resubscribed to Noom to help me lose the last 15 pounds of my new goal.

A couple of things about Noom. First, it is based on psychology and science. There is time spent setting goals and discussing the battles inside your mind. Second, it requires a commitment of 10-20 minutes per day. In addition to daily short readings, you must track your food, water and exercise. For many this can be daunting. Third, the app is very good. Having tried to track in the past, Noom is the easiest app I have used to track food. Most of the food at my local grocery stores are in the Noom database. Finally, a favorite feature of the app is the green, yellow, red food categories. Long story short, you want to eat more green than yellow or red. Further, there are no “prohibited” foods.

Day 30 of Gratitude Challenge

As so today it ends. 30 days of gratitude. So many things to be grateful for in life. Throughout this challenge, I have tried to focus on at least one thing every day to be grateful for. Though there has been some overlap, there have been 30 unique things. Though initially, I struggled with new ideas, the reality is there is much to be grateful about.

For today, I have saved my best for last. The attached picture is of my greatest gratitude. She is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. She is the last thing I think of before I go to sleep. She is constantly on my mind. She is my most ardent supporter and most vocal critic. She loyal, caring, and compassionate. She has her flaws but they don’t really matter to me.

To be clear, she is the person on the right in this picture. We have been together for over 20 years. Today I am grateful for my best friend and wife.

Today is also “Giving Tuesday” in the United States. This is an opportunity to support charities with gifts. Over the holiday season, I plan to make gifts to several charities and challenge all of you to do the same.

I am giving to Dakotabilities – This is where my brother lives and receives service. My oldest brother also received services here until his passing. It is an excellent organization.

I will give to Lifescape – Lifescape is a similar to Dakotabilities. It provides services to adults and children with disabilities. I have been on the Board of Directors at Lifescape for several years serving the last two years as the chair of the board. Tomorrow, I will chair my final meeting before passing the gavel to someone else.

I will give to The Center for Western Studies – I serve on Board of Trustees for this organization which is focused on “Improving the quality of social and cultural life in the Northern Plains … achieving a better understanding of the region, its heritage and its resources … and stimulating interest in the solution to regional problems through the application of knowledge areas of concern to the Center for Western Studies.”

You may give to any organization you wish but I challenge you to give AND post about it. Not to brag but to encourage others to give. I truly believe that gratitude and giving is contagious.

Day 29 of Gratitude Challenge

“But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begin.” – Mitch Albom

Those that know me, know this topic is a bit more complex for me than others. Though I am unbelievably grateful for my birth mother, this post will focus on my adoptive mother.

The picture above is of my mother long before she ever knew I would be a part of her life. My mother was an amazing woman. While growing up, she was always there for our family. She always put our needs ahead of hers. She did so many things but mostly she made me feel safe and loved. Today, I am grateful for my mother. Take time today to be grateful for your mother. Focus on the good.

Day 28 of Gratitude Challenge

First, I would like to say how happy and thankful I am that Michigan beat Ohio State yesterday. I truly don’t measure the value of my life based on a sporting event, but it felt good to cheer them on to victory. Pair it with a Minnesota Vikings win over the Green Packers a week ago – GOOD WEEK.

Yesterday I wrote about my gratitude for pictures. They capture moments and trigger memories. The picture attached to this post is of my father at the helm of his sailboat. What strikes me about this picture is the joy and happiness in his face. Clearly sailing was one of his joys. I wonder what he is thinking about in this picture?

However, this is not the father I remember. My father was a strict perfectionist. He demanded a great deal from us. But he never demanded more from us than he demanded of himself. Growing up with him was very stressful. Unfortunately, some of these traits have passed on to me (I am sorry to my family).

That said, my father gave his all for our family. He loved us deeply and was driven by a need to provide for us. He didn’t always express his love in a positive way. He taught me many lessons and played a major role in shaping me into the person I am today. There is no doubt I am a far better person because of my father. I wish he was still here. I could chose to focus on the negative aspects of my father. Today (and hopefully other days going foward), I choose to focus on the positive impact my father had on my life. I am grateful for my father. The good, the bad and the ugly. Take time to grateful for your father today.

Day 27 of Gratitude Challenge

There are are only a few days left in the gratitude challenge. Back on Day 4, I asked you to be grateful for happy moments or memories in your life. The last couple of days we focused on family.

Today, I am grateful for pictures. Pictures can capture moments reminding of us memories. The picture with this post captures a funny moment in my life. For whatever reason, we thought it would be a good idea for my sister to curl my hair. The picture was taken by mom with her beloved Polaroid instant camera (this was a big deal in the 70s). Honestly, for a long time I was embarrassed by this picture – perhaps I still should be. But when I saw yesterday, I smiled.

Today, I am grateful for pictures. I am grateful for the moments that pictures capture. Take time today to find a favorite picture (or two). Post the pictures and tell us why you are grateful.

Day 26 of Gratitude Challenge

We often overlook the people that we care about the most. Perhaps we take these people for granted. Take time today to be grateful for family. Tell them how important they are to you and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

Day 25 of Gratitude Challenge

Today is Thanksgiving. It is a day where we celebrate the blessings of the last year. I plan to spend the day eating with my family, watching football, and cleaning the house for The Gathering. I’m going to take several moments to be grateful for the gifts of the last year.

Here are a few things I am grateful for, over the last year:

  1. Family
  2. 20 years of marriage
  3. Family
  4. Graduation of youngest son
  5. Visiting oldest son several times
  6. Youngest so goes to college
  7. Improved health
  8. Return to the classroom
  9. Return to the office
  10. 1st shot
  11. 2nd Shot
  12. Booster shot
  13. Ginger – The best mini golden doodle

I am grateful for those who read this blog. What are you grateful for? Today, I challenge you to make a gratitude list and post it.

Day 24 of Gratitude Challenge

“To live would be an awfully big adventure.” Peter Pan

Today focus on the greatest gift we have – the gift of life. Simply being alive is a gift. The world isn’t perfect nor am I. It is easy to focus on the negative and what we don’t have. Today, take moments to be grateful that you are alive.

Day 23 of the Gratitude Challenge

Short post today – Today, the weather forecast for the upper plains is unseasonably warm with no precipitation. I am grateful for this weather today. My youngest son is driving home from college. Additionally, my students will driving home for Thanksgiving break today. With the great weather forecast, my son and my students should have fewer problems getting home. For that, I am grateful. I also hope to take a walk outside and enjoy the weather.