Author: HarrisGroup

JMH Blog

Day 4 – Cherished Memories

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. And when he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

Yesterday’s challenge called for one to live in the present with gratitude. Do not focus on the past for it is done. Do not dream about the $1.5 billion lottery I will win on Saturday. Imagine those gratitude posts! Live now with what is happening now. Enjoy the moment because it is here.

So what happened? Yesterday was hectic. I had several meetings that took more time than anticipated. Issues popped up throughout the day that we unexpected. And there was a funeral. A funeral of a friend who died too young. Trying to be present at a funeral is challenging. It puts perspective on everything. Life is precious. Each day is a gift. And we are so interconnected.

Today’s challenge requires us to focus on cherished memories. Rarely do we understand the value of experience until it has passed. Below, I outline a cherished memory.

In the late spring of 1996, I moved to a new community. One of the first people I met were young married couple about my age. We quickly hit it off and became friends. Less than a month after moving, this couple invited me to go golfing with them on a Saturday. They heard it was my birthday and wanted to make sure it was special. The course is a small tight nine-hole golf course with small greens. We played the first nine holes fairly quickly and decided to play another 9. As we came off the number 3 green, a golf cart driven by a young kid approached us with a note.

The note was for me. The note said “Paramedics called. Call your mom at home.” I jumped in the cart and rode back to the clubhouse (cellphones were not widely used yet). In the clubhouse, I called my mother and learned that my father had unexpectedly passed away.

I drove back to my friends and told them what happened. It’s an awkward moment when you tell friends your dad died. I suspect it’s worse when you are still in your 20s. The wife immediately gave me a big hug. The comfort and calm I felt with that hug was exactly what I needed at that moment. The husband hugged me too but we were 20 something guys and it was awkward..but he meant well. I don’t remember much after that except I left the golf course and drove 30 minutes to my mother’s house.

A few months later this couple would move to a different community. However, our lives would intersect many times. We eventually moved to the same community. We ran into each other at church, social events, and restaurants. Our oldest and their youngest went through confirmation together.

Every time I saw either of them, I remembered that day in 1996 when two people I barely knew, treated me with such care, compassion, and kindness when my father passed. I don’t think I ever thank them for their kindness. Yet, that moment on the golf course is one of my most cherished memories.

Unfortunately, Shannon passed away in March 2021. Yesterday, I went to Lee’s funeral. I hope that Shannon greeted Lee with a big hug when he passed. Both died too young but I will always have that memory of the moment on the golf course. I am grateful for that memory.

Day 3 Gratitude Challenge

Yesterday, I took time to notice and appreciate the small things. I also strive to continue refraining from whining or complaining. How did I do? Better than day 1.

The first small thing I noticed was the temperature when I walked my dog before sunrise. The normal temperature this time of year ranges from 34° to 50°F. This morning it was 60° at 6am! Normally I like the cool and cold weather we get in winter. When you can walk your dog before the sun comes up wearing only a hoodie in November, this is a good thing. I took a few moments to gaze at the colorful vibrant sunset. Enjoyed my coffee in the morning and my tea at night. Watched part of the World Series. My team is not playing but watching reminded me of when they were. Finally, I shared a funny story with a friend I haven’t connected with in awhile. At the end of day, I felt better than day 1. The goal is not perfection but rather improvement. Be grateful for what is rather than what is not.

Which is a nice segue to todays challenge. Today you are to focus on the present. Be mindful. By mindful, I mean be aware. So today, be aware of what is happening. Do not focus on what has happened. Do not focus on what may happen. Be grateful for all that is today. At least three times today, stop what you are doing and be grateful for what is.

Day 2 Gratitude Challenge

Remember the goal of Day 1? No whining? No complaining? Day 1 did not start off as hoped. Few things irritate me more than my morning commute. My commute is short (about 5 miles). On a good day, it takes about 15 minutes. Most days, it takes a little over 20 minutes. For many reasons (school zone, two construction zones, stoplights, heavy traffic), yesterday’s commute was longer in duration than usual. For most of the commute, I kept my cool, thought positive thoughts, and enjoyed the time alone. However, within a mile of work, a man in a pickup (which describes about 45% of the vehicles on the road) pulled a U-turn in front of me, parked in a no-parking zone, and severely limited traffic flow. After some choice words, I stopped myself. I admonished myself for the outburst as it violated the day’s goal. Upon arrival at work, I paused and refocused my efforts to be positive and not complain. Often merely interrupting your negative thoughts (complaining and whining) before they progress further is a victory. I was not perfect today, but I was better. I will try to do the same again today in addition to the challenge for the second day.  

Not knowing that she was preparing me for Day 2, I came home last night to my wife watching a fireplace on tv. It is a thing. We had a discussion about Norwegian Slow TV which was popular a few years back. After dinner, I put on a video of a slow train ride in Scotland. As the film progressed, we were struck by the overall beauty and began planning our next trip to Scotland. After a few minutes, we started to notice more little things. A deer running up a hill. The lack of authentic train noise. The train did not stop in some towns and we wondered why. We noticed the colors. In a short period of time, we were completely relaxed and in awe of all the wonder of the video. One of us became so relaxed she fell asleep!

The challenge for Day 2 is to notice and appreciate the little things. What is something you see or experience every day that you do not think about AND impacts your life in a positive way? Notice these things today and be grateful. Want to take your gratitude challenge to the next level? Take time at the end of the day to think about things you noticed, write them down, discuss them with a friend, or all the above. Have a wonderful day.

November Gratitude Day 1

Today is November 1. In the United States, most people are recovering from the masquerade ball called Halloween. In many Christian cultures, today is known as All Saints Day. While the specifics vary based on denomination, this is a day to honor and remember those who have died and are enjoying eternal happiness through union with God.

On November 1, 2020, as the pandemic impacted my state, I was not in a good place. I was a little over a month from the burial of my oldest brother. He was COVID death 200 in my state. The most recent count is 3059 lives lost. Though I no longer harbor the anger I once did, I remain sad that my brother fell victim to this virus and is no longer with us.

In an effort to boost my spirits, my wife provided me with a gratitude challenge. If I told you I was reluctant, this would be an egregious understatement. The challenge called me to think, act, and live with a gratitude mindset for 21 days. To appease my wife and to demonstrate this was an exercise in futility, I did it. I posted each day on Facebook. Doing this each day and posting about it each day, began a transformation of my mind, body, and spirit.

Last year, I dedicated all 30 days of November to gratitude. This year, I will do the same. It seems fitting that this gratituted exercise begins on the day in which are to honor and remember those who have died. My brother’s picture is part of this post. Throughout this challenge, I will post every day. Each post will discuss how I am focusing my gratitude that day. Whether you take the challenge is up to you. Here is what I know is certain, at the end of the month, I will be in a better place than I am now.

Day 1 – the challenge is no whining or complaining all day at all..none. Speak only positive words. When I first did this challenge, this day fell on the day my beloved Minnesota Vikings played the Green Bay Packers. I should have filmed myself watching that game. It was made easier because my Vikings won…but it was difficult. So are you ready? Positive words all day!

Small Changes

“Think about the massive positive change that could occur in the world if we each did even the tiniest thing to make a difference every single day.” – Jen Sincero

Twenty-three months ago, I made a decision to change. I made a commitment to be healthier and happier. Most of the physical change occurred in the first four months. Since then, despite repeated efforts to change even more, I have mostly stayed within a 10 pound range. While I have maintained, I haven’t made significant movement towards my ultimate goal. This has been frustrating.

A recent instagram post by Adam Grant may have led to a breakthrough for me. He said, “When you’re committed to a goal, it’s motivating to lookahead at how far you have to go. Staring at the summit fuels grit. When doubt creeps in, you’re better off looking back at how far you’ve already come. Seeing your progress builds confidence and commitment.”

While these quotes can be inspriational, they do little good if you don’t put them into practice. Reading Grant’s words reminded me that early in this process, I was committed to a very specific goal. I started each day with a singular focus. Specifically, I spent the begining moments (about 15 minutes) of each day thinking about what needed to happen that day to move me towards my goal. I thought about what was going to happen that day, where I might be challenged, and how I might deal with the challenges. As I moved through the day, I adapted as necessary and tried to stick to the plan. Obviously, it worked.

Stated another way, speding about 1% of each day to focus on my goal correlated to a tremendous change. Likewise, when I stopped consistently spending 1% in focus, I did not make significant progress towards my goal. Today, I changed my schedule. I started the day with 15 minutes of focus on my goal. Stay tuned!

Progress

As readers know, I have been on this lifestyle journey for nearly two years. While my life has improved immensely, there is work to be done. After a recent trip to the UK, my weight had crept up a bit. Time to back things up again. So, I resolved to lose the weight gained on the trip plus a few more pounds. I announced it here. I created a plan and implemented it. Here is the latest progress report.

Things are going okay but not as well as I hoped. When I started in November 2020, I had a strong why and a good plan. I and amazing early and consistent success. I had nearly total control of my schedule and meal planning. I also had a major event in the beginning which provided more motivation.

This time it is different. With a new job, I have less control over my schedule and meal planning. While I have a good plan, I have been inconsistent in execution. My successes have been followed by setbacks.

While I have a good why, it isn’t a great “why.” My weight loss goals feel more like a should than a must. It’s frustrating because last time, it seemed so easy. I should be more than halfway to my goal but I am not.

This week, I got frustrated which was good. Frustration can lead to failure of you let it. I chose to let the frustration provide motivation resolve. I recalibrated my plan. I recalibrated my why. I committed to excellent execution. The result is significant momentum towards my goal.

So here is the report, since my trip, my weight is down 7 pounds. While I still have several pounds to go, I achieved nearly 30% of my goal. Even if I only added 1% each day, I would reach my goal by Christmas. So this is good news which MUST be celebrated.

But I have to be honest, it is exhausting. Staying focused on this all day along with everything else is often overwhelming. I start running out of gas about 2:00 pm each day. By the time I get home after 5, there is little left to “fight the battle.” My will power is shot. My motivation is shot. I just want to sit, read, pet the dog, and/or watch mindless television.

Because I know the flesh is weak, I make sure there are NO unhealthy options available in my house. Every dinner is planned before the day begins. When I get home, I know what is for dinner and I make it (if it isn’t already made). For snacks, I have simplified it. I have at least one fruit and one vegetable available. My go to vegetable is carrots. For fruits it is either banana or grapes. I eat only this (and limit fruit and binge if needed on vegetable. There are no other snacks available. No chips. No ice cream. No crackers. This makes a huge difference.

So long story short, plan…plan…plan…plan and stick to the plan. Your plan must include options for disruptions. Also, don’t go for perfection but do go for excellence. Execute the plan as best you can.

Momento Mori

Today is a day of reflection for me. Two years ago, I went to bed unaware my life was about to change. My oldest brother Jeff had tested positive for Covid-19 ten days prior. He was holding his own and showing mild symptoms. Many, myself included, thought he was going to survive. Yet, at around 2am, a police officer notified us that my brother had passed.

My brother was the 200th person in my state to die with Covid. As of this writing, the number of deaths is over 3,000. I don’t wish to argue about the pandemic. Rather, I want to talk about one of the things the pandemic taught me.

The pandemic taught me life is precious. It can be taken in a moment. The pandemic also reminded me that we are all mortal. We will all die. Towards that end, each day is important. It is important to embrace what life gives you each day.

So I close by asking a favor, before you go to bed tonight (and every night), tell those you love how much they mean to you. For if something should happen before you wake, let the final words be ones of love and gratitude.

Listen to your body

I spent the last 10+ days focusing on my health goals. I have made a greater effort to listen to my body. Our body sends us all sort of signals. I often ignored the signals. The pain in my knee? I must have slept wrong. Irritability? It must have been something some one did to me. Sore throat? I must be taking a lot. Since I often eat when I am bored, I spend more time listening to the signals my body is providing. Below are three things I have observed.

First, my body does an excellent job telling me when it is hungry. Over the last 10 days, I often woke up feeling genuine hunger. When I snacked after dinner, I didn’t wake up hungry. Eating a proper breakfast of fruit, yogurt, or eggs, the hunger feeling goes away.

Second, my body gets irritated if I eat processed food with sodium. How does my body respond to this? I have a lot more inflammation in my hands and joints and hence some minor pain and discomfort. I retain water and feel bloated. My skin looks and feels terrible. I look older. Depending on the food, I get a stomach ache. These are some of the small things that I notice when I don’t treat my body right.

Third, when I make good food choice, I feel much better. Good food choices included eating plenty of fresh vegtables. A couple of servings of fruit to appease my sweet tooth. And finally, drinking at least 90 ounces of water every day. I sleep better and have more energy. My skin looks and feels better. I have less pain.

As I write this, I admit I am struggling to achieve my present weight loss. I have fluctuated in a four pound window but am down one pound since I started. So today, I am going to plan and prepare for my weekend. Build in flexibility and focus. Make sure the right foods are in the house. Resist boredom eating and drink enough water.

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Success & Setbacks

Full disclosure- I am a fan of the Minnesota Vikings. I have endured four Super Bowl and six straight NFC Championship game losses. I turned the tv off with three minutes left during the Minneapolis Miracle game. I couldn’t watch the Vikings lose again. I often turn the game off when I get “the feeling” it won’t go well. If you are a true Vikings fan, you understand “the feeling.”

So why do I write about the Vikings? Because there have been several times when I have stopped watching the game and the final score was not what I expected.

Much like a football game has ups and downs, so do weight loss and health. Life is not static. This week, I had some victories but also setbacks. It is easy to get discouraged by setbacks. This is why it is important to track what you do. When you track what you do, you begin to see patterns. The patterns often show why the set the back occurred. Did you give into temptation and eat the whole bag of Oreos? Did you get bored and just start snacking on what was available? Did you super size? Does the same thing happen at the same time every day?

I have two MAJOR challenge areas. First, after 6:30pm, I eat out of boredom. I’m not hungry yet I eat. This week I made a conscious effort to ask if am I hungry after 6:30pm. If I am, I eat some carrots (my go-to healthy choice) or drink a glass of water. Over the past couple of months, I didn’t make the good choice. I would eat the whole box of NutThins. This often made my spouse unhappy because they were purchased for her…and then I eat them all. I declare today, that I will not eat them anymore.

My second challenge area is the weekend. On the weekend, patterns and schedules break down. So does meal planning and tracking. This often offsets the positive progress of Monday-Friday. Amazingly, just two days of poor choices can cancel five days of good choices.

So, like a football game, I am adjusting my game plan. This weekend, I will track my food intake and plan my meals. I will make my health a priority. I’ll report back next week on how it went.

The Battle is Rejoined

It all started with a picture. A picture of me I didn’t like. A picture that motivated a significant lifestyle change. The picture was taken 20 months ago.

Since the picture, I lost a lot of weight. Most of the weight came off in the first three months. Over the last 17 months, there has been a slight downward trend.

All of this is good. I am still 60+ pounds off my high. I have mostly maintained the weight loss (give or take 5 pounds). I am still walking every day (at least 10,000 steps per day for 899 days). Occasionally I jog. I eat healthier than before. I am still amazed by my progress and celebrate the progress I have made so far.

Yet, I want more. I have a new number and fitness level in mind. My new goal is 20 pounds lower (don’t worry – if I lose 20 more pounds, I will still be “overweight” according to CDC BMI guidelines). My new number is a good number. It will put me down 80 or two softener salt bags. My new number will also incorporate some more weight training to obtain a higher fitness level.

So I will blog about it in real-time this time. So I begin with my why:

First, I believe 20 pounds down will be a healthier and happier weight for me. Second, I want to lower my health risks. For further information, search “health risks of being overweight.” Third, I want to break the pattern. Both my fathers died in their mid-60s. (Note: Both ate poorly, smoked, drank, and got little exercise). Fifth, I want to see my children grow older. Finally, I promised my wife a trip in 2044. I need to be around for this.

So the battle is rejoined. 20 pounds or bust – or 20 pounds is a must. Let the fun begin!