Tag: Family

Day 15 – Beautiful Things

I’m currently in the midst of the Beautiful Things series, where I intentionally direct my focus towards the beauty that exists in our world. It doesn’t mean that I am disregarding the less beautiful aspects; I am simply taking the time to appreciate the breathtaking moments.

As I was scrolling through social media today, I was reminded of a significant event in my life – the tragic death of Thurman Munson. The day after Munson died in a plane crash, my father flew us to pick up my grandpa in Aberdeen. Then we proceeded to Minneapolis, where the three of us attended a baseball game between the Minnesota Twins and the California Angels.

I have three standout memories from that day, as it was my first major-league game. First, there was a moment of silence for Thurman Munson, with everyone standing in unity for a moment. Second, it was one of the first games Rod Carew played against Minnesota after being traded. He pinch hit late in the game and struck out looking. Third, it was a beautiful experience watching the game with my father and grandfather.

I have taken both of my sons to many sporting events, including baseball, football, and basketball. Currently, I am watching a baseball game. Sporting events have the power to create wonderful moments and memories for your loved ones. Also, the grass at a professional baseball stadium is amazing!

As Many With as Without


“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” – Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

 

Time is an interesting concept. Today is a day that marks a significant moment in my life. Many years ago, on this day, I was born into this world. As I grow older, I am reminded that each birthday is a precious gift and should be celebrated.

This weekend, I’m just not feeling the birthday cheer. It’s the eighth time my birthday has landed on a Saturday, and it always sends me on a trip down memory lane.

On a beautifully sunny birthday, I was enjoying a morning round of golf with two new friends in a new town. As we strolled off the green of our 12th hole and headed towards the 13th tee, a young man in a golf cart handed me an urgent note from the pro shop. Written in striking red ink, the note read, “Paramedics called. Call your mom at home.”

This was before cell phones became prevalent. As I was at the furthest point on the course from the clubhouse, I rode back to the clubhouse with the young man. While I did not know exactly what had happened, I knew this ride would be a turning point in my life.

As I reached the clubhouse, I called my mother and received devastating news. She informed me that my father had passed away and asked me to return home immediately. It was difficult to comprehend – I had just hugged him less than 12 hours before. It felt like a surreal and heartbreaking moment. The next day was Father’s Day.

I continue to feel a deep sense of sadness about my father not being here. I often find myself wishing he could have met my wife and sons, and for them to have had the opportunity to meet him.

Today feels like a significant turning point. My father has been absent from my life for as long as he was present. In recent years, I’ve pondered how I would feel. I can confirm that little has changed as I write this.

So forgive me if I don’t want to celebrate or play golf this weekend. Maybe I will have a shot whisky or glass of wine in his honor, but there won’t be a party.

Day 29 Gratitude Challenge

This post is a retread of a post from a previous challenge. When doing a challenge like this every day, it is easy to miss gratitude opportunities. If you haven’t figured it out by now, there is much to be grateful for. I know I have forgotten important people, groups of people, things, or experiences in my postings. This challenge could be a year and I would still miss a few things.

This gratitude challenge is not complete unless I write about about the two men who are my sons. I am so grateful for both of my sons. It has been a joy to watch them develop and grow into amazing human beings. They have taught me so much about myself and life, I am better because of them.

My oldest son graduated from college and earned a master’s degree in public policy. He has a job where he has the opportunity to shape the world around him for the better. He is married to an amazing woman. My youngest is in college and doing great. He has a wonderful group of friends, a vision for the future, and the drive to succeed. For the first time in several years, we spent Thanksgiving together. It was wonderful.

If you have children (furry kind count), take time to be grateful for them. They grow up quickly and leave the house. Send them a note letting them know you are thinking about them.

Day 26 – Gratitude Challenge

As this Thanksgiving weekend draws to a close, I can’t help but be grateful for the quality time spent with family.

Thanksgiving was spent with my family. For the first time in years both our children were home for Thanksgiving. Yesterday I attended “The Gathering” of relatives on my spouse’s side. “The Gathering” is an annual event that started with my wife’s grandparents hosting a meal and gift exchange for their children (including my mother-in-law). It has expanded to include the grandchildren and now great grandchildren. It is a wonderful event with great people.

Today’s challenge is to be grateful and express gratitude to and for extended family. Especially Grandparents, parents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins whether by birth, adoption, or marriage. Remember my spouse’s wise words – “Love multiplied it never divides.”

Day 24 Gratitude Challenge

“If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris

Yesterday was a very good day. Both of my sons came home for Thanksgiving. My wife prepared amazing food for all. I took a nice walk with our dog. We watched football and basketball.

Except for the walk, all events took place in our home of 19 years. Our home is so beautiful (almost entirely because of my wife’s decorative skills). Over the last couple of years, we have transformed and modernized our space. Much of this has involved decluttering which is challenging for me. However, the joy I felt yesterday, made it all worth it.

The challenge today is to look around your living space. Notice the things that are beautiful and useful. Additionally, notice the things that are neither – and get rid of those things. Commit to getting rid of two things today. Dispose of two things tomorrow. Repeat until the above quote is a reality.

Be grateful for the beauty around you. I have included a picture of our dining-room table set for Thanksgiving meals. At least four generations have enjoyed meals at this table. I was young when my mother received this table from her mother. Years later, my mother would pass it on to me. I hope you can see the beauty and usefulness of this table – and the joy it has brought to my family for approximately a century.

Day 23 Gratitude Challenge

Today is the annual day of gratitude in the United States. The first national day of Thanksgiving was first declared by George Washington in 1789. Yet, it was during the civil war that it seemed to take hold in the United States. My hope is you all will take time to reflect on all that is wonderful in your life.

Today, many of us will gather with family and friends to watch football, tell stories, eat turkey, and enjoy our blessings. The challenge for today is to read the below statements, watch the WKRP Thanksgiving Episode (which is loosely based on events in South Dakota), love your friends and family, and be grateful for all you have.

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and even soften the heart which is habitually insensible to the
ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.
In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and provoke their aggressions, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict; while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefullyacknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a Day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows,
orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the city of Washington, this third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.


Abraham Lincoln
By the President: William H. Seward. Secretary of State.

Day 17 Gratitude Challenge

It’s Day 17 of the challenge and it is Friday. I will admit that I am tired and a little cranky. It has been a long week. This is exactly when I need gratitude challenge and its call to action. If nothing else, the challenge is a daily reminder of choice. I can choose gratitude or not. It is entirely my choice.

Today, all you need to do is embrace gratitude all day. My agenda today is packed with appointments, some business and some personal. I am grateful for each one because it means I am alive and working.

Be grateful for your family, friends, bed, warm shower (unless you are into the cold plunge), coffee, food, water, music, podcasts, art, books, or whatever. Just be grateful all day…and try to be a little annoying about it. If someone asks you why you seem so happy, tell them you are grateful and list all the reasons you are grateful. Schedule hourly check-ins with yourself and others. Have a great weekend.

Day 12 Gratitude Challenge

Yesterday was a very good day. I list the reasons why:

1. Got to see my youngest son and have dinner with him

2. Watched a great basketball game between Creighton and North Dakota State University

3. The football team at my alma mater won a big football game to clinch the conference championship outright for the first time since 1959.

4. Michigan best Penn State.

5. Great late fall weather.

Todays challenge is a wild card challenge. Find three things to be grateful for. Have a great Sunday!

Day 5 Gratitude Challenge

I today grateful for an extra hour of sleep. It is well documented the importance of good sleep. I am feel better and function better after a good sleep.

I must confess that I am disappointed I myself. I got a late start yesterday, got distracted with editing pictures, and never paid it forward. I will do so today. BUT it is important to give grace – to others and yourself. Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

For today, I want you to focus on a cherished memory. Make a list of your top five cherished memories. This take time to think about each memory and why you cherish it. Bonus points if you write all this down and share it. You can share it with family members or friends.

I won’t bore you with five of my most cherished memories. Truth is, I have probably bored you already with cherished memories in previous posts. However, I will share two cherished memories here.

The first happened many years ago in 1991. As many know, I am a long time Minnesota Twins fan. Through a stroke of luck, my best friend and I were able to get tickets to Game 7 of the 1991 World Series. If you have a spare three hours today, you can watch the game here. Attending that game, in that stadium, at that stage of my life, with my best friend and fellow Twins fan was an amazing moment. For those that don’t know, the Twins won the game 1-0 in 10 innings. I still get chills, thinking about the game and celebration after the Twins victory.

A second cherished memory involve a spontaneous trip to Minneapolis with my wife and youngest child. My beloved Vikings were scheduled to play his beloved Lions. The Vikings were having a great season. The Lions were awful that year ending the season with a 2-14 record (though that was an improvement over 0-16 the previous season). We stayed at a hotel that was relatively new at the time. Side note: We continue to stay at that hotel when we can. Imagine our surprise when we discovered the Detroit Lions were also staying at the hotel.

As the Lions team meetings wrapped up, players headed back to the rooms for good sleep before the big game. There was only one way to get to the room, and that way it was blocked by my son with a sharpie, notebook, and a smile. He even tracked a couple of players into the bathroom. By the end of the evening, he had obtained the autograph of most of the players. His prized autograph was of the quarterback Matthew Stafford, who not only signed his notebook, but also signed the Matthew Stafford jersey that he was wearing. The next morning the team left a hat for him. While at the game one of the Lions players remembered him from the hotel and handed him a football.

As I write this, I am smiling because it was such a wonderful experience for all of us. It almost turned me into a Lions fan! The pictures attached to this post show my son getting the autograph of Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson.

Long story short, we all have cherished memories that bring back good feelings. While it is unhealthy to dwell on the past, it’s OK every once in a while to think about those special moments.

When the past meets the present

It has been a while since I have written here. As usual, life gets in the way and writing becomes less of a priority. I hope to change this as November is just around the corner and I am planning another 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

Technology is amazing. This weekend I read an article about a student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln who used technology to “unroll” carbonised scrolls found in the ruins of Pompeii. With the assistance of technology, we may be able to rediscover a library that is nearly 2000 years old. Perhaps we will learn about things lost to time.

In my own life, technology allows me to listen to virtually any song I want. I have thousands of movies and TV shows available at the click of a button. More importantly, technology allowed me to find my past and make it the present.

I have previously written about my adoption reunion. Technology (23&Me and Ancenstry.com) made the reunion possible. What readers may not know is that I have sister who died before I was born. My parents rarely (once or twice) talked about her. I didn’t ask. All I knew was an approximate year and location of her her birth and death. When my father passed away, my mom included my sister on their headstone.

It’s strange feeling a connection to someone you never met. Yet, I have always felt a connection. I few years ago, I used technolgoy to locate my sister. I was able to find and who died at three days old. I used findagrave.com to locate the cemetery where she was buried. I was able to use the cemetery website to locate her gravesite.

She is buried in Lakewood Cemetery in Minneapolis. It is a beatuful cemetery located south of uptown Minneapolis next to Bde Maka Ska. “Long considered one of the most beautiful cemeteries in the country, it was modeled after the rural cemeteries of 19th-century France, such as Père-Lachaise in Paris.”

Her grave is tucked in the south end of the cemetery near service building in a secluded area. She is buried in area with other children. In her “row” of 18 children, the oldest is 8. Eleven of the eighteen chilrden liast an age of zero. Most of the graves are unmarked (12 of 18). I have visted her gravesite several times over the past few years. It is a very peaceful but sad place.

The first time I visited, I was shocked that my sisters grave was one of the unmarked graves. Over the next few years, I wondered why my parents would not mark her grave. It bothered me. It bothered me so much that earlier this year, I contacted the cemetery about placing a headstone. After some conversations, we agreed upon a design. It is made from grantie quarried in South Dakota. I was told the earliest it would be ready would be spring of 2024. Imagine my joy last week when the cemetery sent me the picture attached to this blog post.

Soon I will visit and beable to know exactly where my sister is buried. So will others who may vist that area of the cemetery where the past meets the present.

Below are the names of the other children buried in my sisters row. I place them here to make sure they are not forgotten.

  1. ELSIE J FERGUSON
  2. BABY KNIGHT
  3. CHARLES R FOSTER
  4. ELIZABETH HOOVER
  5. FREDERICK NEWTON
  6. EARLING LUNDHIEM
  7. BABY ANDERSON
  8. JENNIE CATHERINE SAARE
  9. DOROTHY A. ROSCHE
  10. FLORENCE WILLIAMSON
  11. ROBBIN DARNELL THOMAS