Tag: Family

Day 5 Gratitude Challenge

I today grateful for an extra hour of sleep. It is well documented the importance of good sleep. I am feel better and function better after a good sleep.

I must confess that I am disappointed I myself. I got a late start yesterday, got distracted with editing pictures, and never paid it forward. I will do so today. BUT it is important to give grace – to others and yourself. Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

For today, I want you to focus on a cherished memory. Make a list of your top five cherished memories. This take time to think about each memory and why you cherish it. Bonus points if you write all this down and share it. You can share it with family members or friends.

I won’t bore you with five of my most cherished memories. Truth is, I have probably bored you already with cherished memories in previous posts. However, I will share two cherished memories here.

The first happened many years ago in 1991. As many know, I am a long time Minnesota Twins fan. Through a stroke of luck, my best friend and I were able to get tickets to Game 7 of the 1991 World Series. If you have a spare three hours today, you can watch the game here. Attending that game, in that stadium, at that stage of my life, with my best friend and fellow Twins fan was an amazing moment. For those that don’t know, the Twins won the game 1-0 in 10 innings. I still get chills, thinking about the game and celebration after the Twins victory.

A second cherished memory involve a spontaneous trip to Minneapolis with my wife and youngest child. My beloved Vikings were scheduled to play his beloved Lions. The Vikings were having a great season. The Lions were awful that year ending the season with a 2-14 record (though that was an improvement over 0-16 the previous season). We stayed at a hotel that was relatively new at the time. Side note: We continue to stay at that hotel when we can. Imagine our surprise when we discovered the Detroit Lions were also staying at the hotel.

As the Lions team meetings wrapped up, players headed back to the rooms for good sleep before the big game. There was only one way to get to the room, and that way it was blocked by my son with a sharpie, notebook, and a smile. He even tracked a couple of players into the bathroom. By the end of the evening, he had obtained the autograph of most of the players. His prized autograph was of the quarterback Matthew Stafford, who not only signed his notebook, but also signed the Matthew Stafford jersey that he was wearing. The next morning the team left a hat for him. While at the game one of the Lions players remembered him from the hotel and handed him a football.

As I write this, I am smiling because it was such a wonderful experience for all of us. It almost turned me into a Lions fan! The pictures attached to this post show my son getting the autograph of Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson.

Long story short, we all have cherished memories that bring back good feelings. While it is unhealthy to dwell on the past, it’s OK every once in a while to think about those special moments.

When the past meets the present

It has been a while since I have written here. As usual, life gets in the way and writing becomes less of a priority. I hope to change this as November is just around the corner and I am planning another 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

Technology is amazing. This weekend I read an article about a student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln who used technology to “unroll” carbonised scrolls found in the ruins of Pompeii. With the assistance of technology, we may be able to rediscover a library that is nearly 2000 years old. Perhaps we will learn about things lost to time.

In my own life, technology allows me to listen to virtually any song I want. I have thousands of movies and TV shows available at the click of a button. More importantly, technology allowed me to find my past and make it the present.

I have previously written about my adoption reunion. Technology (23&Me and Ancenstry.com) made the reunion possible. What readers may not know is that I have sister who died before I was born. My parents rarely (once or twice) talked about her. I didn’t ask. All I knew was an approximate year and location of her her birth and death. When my father passed away, my mom included my sister on their headstone.

It’s strange feeling a connection to someone you never met. Yet, I have always felt a connection. I few years ago, I used technolgoy to locate my sister. I was able to find and who died at three days old. I used findagrave.com to locate the cemetery where she was buried. I was able to use the cemetery website to locate her gravesite.

She is buried in Lakewood Cemetery in Minneapolis. It is a beatuful cemetery located south of uptown Minneapolis next to Bde Maka Ska. “Long considered one of the most beautiful cemeteries in the country, it was modeled after the rural cemeteries of 19th-century France, such as Père-Lachaise in Paris.”

Her grave is tucked in the south end of the cemetery near service building in a secluded area. She is buried in area with other children. In her “row” of 18 children, the oldest is 8. Eleven of the eighteen chilrden liast an age of zero. Most of the graves are unmarked (12 of 18). I have visted her gravesite several times over the past few years. It is a very peaceful but sad place.

The first time I visited, I was shocked that my sisters grave was one of the unmarked graves. Over the next few years, I wondered why my parents would not mark her grave. It bothered me. It bothered me so much that earlier this year, I contacted the cemetery about placing a headstone. After some conversations, we agreed upon a design. It is made from grantie quarried in South Dakota. I was told the earliest it would be ready would be spring of 2024. Imagine my joy last week when the cemetery sent me the picture attached to this blog post.

Soon I will visit and beable to know exactly where my sister is buried. So will others who may vist that area of the cemetery where the past meets the present.

Below are the names of the other children buried in my sisters row. I place them here to make sure they are not forgotten.

  1. ELSIE J FERGUSON
  2. BABY KNIGHT
  3. CHARLES R FOSTER
  4. ELIZABETH HOOVER
  5. FREDERICK NEWTON
  6. EARLING LUNDHIEM
  7. BABY ANDERSON
  8. JENNIE CATHERINE SAARE
  9. DOROTHY A. ROSCHE
  10. FLORENCE WILLIAMSON
  11. ROBBIN DARNELL THOMAS

Gotcha Day

My parents wanted to have a big family. Prior to my arrival, my parents had four biological children. Three of the four had developmental disabilities with one passing away at three days old. For many reasons, they chose to pursue adoption to expand their family.

I am eternally grateful for all she (and my dad) did in raising me. I never had to worry about clothing, food, or shelter. We took many great vacations. Holidays provided many good memories. Like many families, there were struggles and challenges but I have always known they did the best they could.

Growing up, I asked my mom a lot of questions about my adoption. She tried to answer as many as she could. One day I asked her to tell me how they got me. Was there a store? A mail-order catalog? Did I just show up on their front porch and say hello? She assured me they didn’t get me from a store or a catalog. She said my sister was just teasing when she said I was found under a rock.

All this information is good, but it didn’t answer the question. How did you get me? My mother began to tell the story about how my parents secretly met with a local adoption agency (Lutheran Social Services). My parents told very few people they were considering adoption. Back then, adoption was not a sure thing. She said they asked lots of questions about a lot of things and hoped that they answered correctly so that they could adopt. But she still didn’t answer my question.

So I asked again. How did you get me? She told me they weren’t sure they were going to get me or anyone else. However, one day long before they know of me, my mom went to see a psychic. Given this was the late 60s, I suppose she could have done worse things. She said the psychic looked at her and said “You are going to have another child but this one is different. My mom quizzically asked, “What do you mean?” The psychic looked at my mom and said, “This child will come to you on a plane.” And so it was on this day many years ago, that I flew on a plane with a lady from the adoption agency to meet my family for the first time. Some days are more important than others. This is an important day for me.

Day 31 Gratitude Challenge Bonus Day

When doing a challenge like this every day, it is easy to miss gratitude opportunities. If you haven’t figured it out by now, there is much to be grateful for. I know I have not included important people, groups of people, things, or experiences in postings. This challenge could be a year and I would still miss a few things.

Yet, my gratitude challenge is not complete unless I talk about about the two young men who are my sons. I am so grateful for both of my sons. It has been a joy to watch them develop and grow into amazing human beings. My oldest graduated from college and earned a master’s degree in public policy. He is currently working in a job where he has the opportunity to shape the world around him for the better. He is married to an amazing woman. I get to see them in a couple of weeks and can’t wait. My youngest is in college. He is doing great. He has a wonderful group of friends, a vision for the future, and the drive to succeed. While I saw him over Thanksgiving break, it was too short. He will be home for Christmas break and it will be wonderful to have him home. The best will be when they are both home over Christmas.

If you have children (furry kind count), take time to be grateful for them. They grow up quickly and leave the house. Send them a note letting them know you are thinking about them.

Day 29 Gratitude Challenge

It is late November in the upper plains. This means cooler (cold) weather and shorter days. It also means snow. This morning I woke up to snow on the ground. While I am grateful for the beauty and moisture of the snowfall, this is not the focus of the post today.

Today I am thinking about my parents. I am thinking about the decisions and sacrifices they made to provide me with the opportunities I had. Not all are as fortunate as I am. The older I get, the more I realize this.

My parents made sure my basic needs were met. I never had to worry if there would be enough food or if we would have a home. I have always had an abundance of clothes (even if my parents would t buy the new Nike and instead purchased the Keds knockoff!😜)

After years of parenting through the Great Recession and the pandemic, I realize how challenging it must have been for my parents. Were they perfect? No. Did they make mistakes? Probably. However, they did the best they could with the tools they were given. In my opinion, they did a damn great old job. My faults and flaws are of my own making, not theirs. Unfortunately, my parents have passed and I can’t personally thank them for all they did. Perhaps you can take some time to think about your parents today. Think about the sacrifices they made for you. Did they attend your performances, concerts, recitals, games, and/or conferences? If so, they gave up something to be there. If your parents are still living, give them a call or write a letter. Let them know about the good things they did for you.

And one final thing, nothing screams “I love you” more than 70s fashion. The wide white belt and a turtleneck. Enjoy the picture.

Day 27 Gratitude Challenge

Yesterday was a good day for at least two reasons. First, it was the annual “Gathering” of family of my wife’s side. As legend has it, the “Gathering” was started by my wife’s grandmother. It takes place on the Saturday following Thanksgiving. When I first attended the gathering, it was hosted (on a rotating basis) by the siblings (children’s of wife’s grandma). In recent years, hosting duties descended to the cousins (we hosted last year). About 30 people (3 generations) gather for food (potluck style), laughter, stories, and a gift exchange. It is an amazing group of people with a wide variety of interests and talents. It has become a highlight of my year. I am grateful for family and kinship. I am grateful this group has welcomed me with open arms and accepted me as one of their own. I am so lucky to have become a part of this family. It was a great ti,e last night.

Second reason yesterday was good…Michigan beat Ohio State in football. I don’t measure my worth based on whether one of my favorite teams beats an arch rival BUT my day is definitely better when they do. I am grateful for spectacle that is college football. The excitement and energy of game day is amazing. Someday I hope to attend “The Game” in person.

Take some time today to be grateful for extended family. Reach out to a few and see how they are doing. As we move into holiday season, remember the importance of family and gratitude.

Day 28 Gratitude Challenge

All of this started because Jeff, my oldest brother, died. My struggle to cope and adapt continues. While I have written a lot about my brother Jeff, I haven’t written a lot about my brother Matt (or other siblings). This isn’t because they are irrelevant or not important. In fact, the opposite is true. They are very important and very relevant.

Genetically, my brother Matt is very similar to Jeff. However, the two could not be more different. Matt is younger. Matt’s personality is different. Jeff was more serious while Matt is happy and mischievous. Growing up, I was closer to Matt as he lived in our home until he 20. I helped take care or Matt.

My brother lives close to me. I visit him occasionally but not nearly enough. Every time I visit my brother, I feel better about life. His smile and attitude are infectious. I could write more but I think you understand how wonderful he is.

Though I only wrote about one, I am grateful for all my siblings. (I have 7 siblings – it’s complicated). Take time to express gratitude to one or all of your siblings today.

Day 25 Gratitude Challenge

Yesterday was a great day. Great weather for Thanksgiving. Two long walks with the dog. One along the bike trail and the other at Good Earth State Park. Lots of family time including wonderful meal and some trivial pursuit. Closed it all out with a Vikings win.

Today will be interesting. While many will be out shopping form deals, I will be working. The last time I worked on a Friday after Thanksgiving, Bill Clinton was President.

The challenge today is a repeat. It is a pay it forward and/or random act of kindness kind of day. If you have the day off, enjoy it but remember others are working. Maybe leave them a bigger tip, give a compliment, or do something kind. Maybe you buy a stranger coffee, breakfast, or lunch. It doesn’t matter what it is, it just matters that you act.

Day 24 Gratitude Challenge

Today is Thanksgiving. Many have the day off from work. Many will gather with friends and family to overeat, watch football, and tell stories. What a fantastic tradition to gather In gratitude with those you care about.

Today I am reminded of past Thanksgivings. Growing up we shared Thanksgiving with close family friends. I have many great memories from those gatherings. In more recent years, our family gathers at a local club for amazing food and disappointing football (my youngest is a Detroit Lions fan). We gather again with a larger group (three generations) in a couple of days.

Today, rather than blog to start the day, my faithful companion took me for a walk. During the walk, I took time to think about all the things I am grateful for. I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for my health and the health of those I care about. I am grateful for my home. I am grate for the opportunities I have. I am grateful for my job, my coworkers, customers, and organization. I am grateful for so much more than listed here but this is a start.

Todays’s challenge is to make a list. Make it a long list. What are you grateful for? Include everything whether big or small.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for reading.

Day 22 Gratitude Challenge

A couple of nights ago, Michael J. Fox won the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian award. “The Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, an Oscar statuette, is given to an ‘individual in the motion picture industry whose humanitarian efforts have brought credit to the industry.’” It isn’t surprising he won the award.

In the 80s, Fox was one of the top stars in the world. His characters in television and film were iconic. In the early 90s his life changed with a diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease. Fox kept his diagnosis secret for many years. In 1998, he went public with his diagnosis and ever since has been advocate to find a cure for the disease. Learn more about his efforts at the Michael J Fox Foundation

I took time to watch Fox’s acceptance speech for his award. Watching the speech I became overwhelmed with emotion. I was reminded of his optimism, compassion, and humor. I reflected on his career. I wondered what career had have been. Side note: My favorite movie of his is Doc Hollywood.

Mostly, I was reminded of my mother. Like Fox, in the early 90s, my mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. I remember her optimism when Fox went public with his diagnosis. She was hopeful his money and star power would help find a cure in time for her. While the cure did not come in time for my mother, I remain hopeful that a cure will come in my lifetime. I am grateful for the attention Michael J Fox has given Parkinson’s Disease.

He ends his speech with the following words:

“Because my optimism is fueled by my gratitude. And with gratitude, optimism is sustainable.”

The challenge today is to be optimistic. We all have challenges but can we face them with the optimism of Michael J Fox? Use your gratitude to sustain your optimism for a better world.