Category: Uncategorized

Mother Nature’s Sense of Humor

If we go way back, say six years ago, you would know that I have a pretty complicated relationship with Mother Nature. It’s a love/hate thing, but let me tell you, Mother Nature leans heavily on the ‘hate’ side for me. And boy, does she know how to get to me – by making me do one thing I absolutely despise – shoveling snow!

Close your eyes for a moment and travel back in time with me. It’s the winter of despair, and the snow is piling up high. It’s already been a couple of months since the first snowstorm hit, and the snowbanks are already towering over the sidewalks and driveways. But then Mother nature decides to play a new game and starts sending light snow, barely two inches, every few days. It’s almost like a cruel joke, as the snow piles get higher and higher, and you have to shovel more frequently. You’re starting to feel like you’re in the movie “Groundhog Day,” but there’s no end in sight. Finally, the snow piles get so high that there’s no space left to put the snow, and you injure your shoulder while lifting the heavy snow over the top of the towering piles.

In late February, I had finally had enough. I reached my breaking point and decided to take a stand against the winter blues. Looking at the forecast, I made a bold decision: I would no longer shovel snow. With a sense of excitement and rebellion, I declared that I would leave snow removal up to mother nature. It was time to break free and embrace the unpredictable adventures of the season.

The battle was tough, but I was determined to emerge victorious. For the rest of that winter, I refrained from touching the snow shovel. Though still a little bruised and battered from previous shoveling, I won the war against snow removal. It was an epic battle that I will never forget.

Yet I am realist, I knew I had to take a smart approach to tackle the next winter. So, I hired a snow removal service. Now, let me tell you, the experience of working with them was nothing short of amazing! Their proficiency, promptness, and effectiveness in getting the snow out of the way was simply indescribable. This is not meant to be a compliment. I could go on but I’ll save that for another blog post.

The winter of 22-23 was an absolute nightmare town (and state). Though my snow removal service handled duties in the front of my house, I faced a new challenge. The snow had piled so high that I had to trudge through it with a shovel in hand, just so my furry friend could do her business in the backyard. But, I am not one to back down from a challenge. I didn’t let the tedious chore beat me down. Instead, I found my inner artist and transformed the snow into a masterpiece. I created a breathtaking labyrinthine path through the snow, complete with twists and turns that would make any maze-maker proud. And the best part? My dog was absolutely thrilled with it!

I was extremely disappointed with my snow removal service last winter. They were unable to efficiently handle the heavy snowfall, leaving me frustrated and having to chip away at the ice on my driveway.

I needed to find a new strategy for the upcoming winter season. I knew my physical limitations and age wouldn’t allow me to shovel my way out of the snow this year, and finding a new snow service seemed like an uphill battle. But then I stumbled upon the ultimate solution – something I had never had before – a snowblower! This bad boy is my new secret weapon to conquer any snowstorm that comes my way. With it in my arsenal, I’m ready to take on the fiercest winter challenges and emerge victorious! No more waiting for the plow to arrive or shoveling for hours on end. This year, I’m taking control of the winter game and showing Mother Nature who’s boss! So bring on the snow, because I’m ready to blast it away with my powerful new snowblower!

It’s amazing how Mother Nature always manages to stay one step ahead of us! I was excited to use my snowblower this year, but there were only a few light snowfalls in November and December that I could easily remove with a broom. I was starting to lose hope until a major snowstorm hit us in January, dumping 12 inches of snow in just one day. Unfortunately, I was in Florida at that time, and my snowblower remained untouched. But wait, there’s more! Just a couple of weeks later, it snowed again, and I finally got to play with my new toy. It was a thrilling experience, and I couldn’t wait for the next snowfall!

It has been a mild winter so far, with very few snowstorms. The snow has melted away, leaving behind a dull and lifeless landscape. However, just when we thought winter was over, Mother Nature surprised us with sudden bursts of snow this week! Unfortunately, neither storm was significant enough to warrant the use of a snowblower. Yesterday, we received less than an inch of snow, and today, depending on whose predictions you trust, we could get up to three inches more! The only downside is that I have to clear my sidewalks of snow and ice within 48 hours, or face the consequences from the city. So, I was forced to break my promise and, with a trusty snow shovel in hand, I removed the snow from my driveway and sidewalks. Once again, Mother Nature has won!

But there is joy in the air. I just checked the extended forecast! The weather will be absolutely amazing for the rest of this month, with temperatures ranging from the mid 40s to mid 50s almost every day. Even if it snows, it won’t last for long as it will melt pretty quickly. So bring it on Mother Nature! I am not shoveling anymore – except as needed for my dog.

Everything is fine, except that March happens to be the snowiest month of the year.

Reflections from the past

Although I usually don’t write about politics, this story is more about people and relationships than it is about politics.

It was a unique moment in the history of South Dakota. It was a time of great political turmoil, nine months after the tragic plane crash that claimed the lives of the governor and seven others. With the Democratic party controlling the state senate and the Republican party controlling the state house, the stage was set for an intense election year. The Republican Governor, Walter Dale Miller, was about to face a primary challenge from the former governor Bill Janklow, who would later go on to win both the primary and the general election. As a rookie lobbyist and political enthusiast, I was fortunate enough to witness this historic event and learn about politics and the legislative process firsthand.

I learned about the importance of understanding the process and procedure of the legislature. I learned about strategy and advocacy. However, the most important lesson I learned was the importance of personal relationships.

To provide some context, South Dakota has a longstanding reputation as a conservative state, with a political landscape that has traditionally been dominated by Republicans both in the legislature and the governor’s office. As a lobbyist, I was faced with the challenge of garnering support for my proposed bills from lawmakers on both sides of the political spectrum, even when their views were at odds with my own. This required a delicate balancing act and a nuanced approach to negotiation and persuasion.

One day early in my career, I was working a couple of bills. This involved discussion with several committee members about the merits of the bill. I thought I had done a good job. I spoke to most of the committee. All indicated support for the bill.

There was one committed member I didn’t lobby. Arrogantly, I thought I didn’t need to lobby him. I had enough votes. I didn’t need his vote. Plus, his nickname was “Grumpy” and I was intimidated. This was a big mistake.

During committee testimony, Grumpy began peppering me with questions about the bill. The inquiry was sharp and relevant. With each question, I could feel my chances slipping away. Soon, the testimony closed, and the committee began discussing the bill. After some back and forth, Grumpy motioned to kill my bill. The motion passed, and my bill was defeated.

After losing the vote, I left the committee room on the fourth floor of the capital and walked down to the second floor where the Governor’s office was located. As I walked along the hallways, I noticed paintings of former governors hanging on the walls. Feeling sorry for myself, I spoke to the portraits and asked for guidance. The former governors spoke to me clearly and advised me not to underestimate anyone, not to assume anything and to know how each committee member plans to vote before the meeting. They also suggested I talk to Grumpy first.

Later that day, I headed to the basement bar of the Kings Inn Hotel to meet up with some friends. The bar, affectionately called “The Pit”, was bustling with activity as usual. Upon my arrival before my friends, I began to look for an open seat to settle in. Luckily, I spotted a vacant spot at the bar and quickly claimed it. However, to my surprise, I realized that I was sitting right beside someone who appeared to be in a sour mood – Grumpy.

Grumpy was more formally known as Representative Al Waltman. He addressed me and expressed his concern by saying, “Hey, I hope you’re not upset with me for killing your bill today.” I fibbed and replied, “No, not at all. It’s part of the process. You made some valid points.” I anxiously searched for my friends. This incident took place before cell phones became prevalent, so I couldn’t use text messaging, Snapchat, WhatsApp, or any other messaging app to contact my friends and request their help.

What happen next was unexpected. We started conversing like two ordinary human beings. It turned out that Waltman hailed from my dad’s hometown. Despite being only a year apart, they moved in different social circles an didn’t know each other. Interestingly, Waltman had graduated from high school with my uncle but didn’t know him either. As we talked, we discussed various topics ranging from family, religion, politics, hobbies, and anything else that came to mind. When my friends finally appeared, I told them I would catch up with them later at a different location.

Waltman and I continued our conversation. We even talked about the bill. By the end of the conversation, he understood my position with the bill. “Why didn’t you just talk to me before committee?”, he asked. I didn’t have a good answer. But I did say, “I promise I won’t make that mistake again.” By the end of our conversation we became friends. I don’t remember if I met up with my friends.

From that night forward, whenever a bill was presented before Waltman’s committee, I would talk to him before the hearing. He would ask me tough questions and make an effort to understand my perspective. He would inform me about his stance on the bill and suggest what changes were necessary to gain his support. Sometimes, he would also offer to help the bill. Whatever his stance, he always kept his word.

We had differing political and religious views, as well as being from different generations. However, our shared love for South Dakota and respect for the process brought us together as colleagues and friends. Grumpy tried to stop some of my bills over the years. Sometimes I won and sometimes he did, but we always maintained mutual respect for each other.

I stopped lobbying around the same time Al Waltman left the legislature, and our paths never crossed again. Despite this, I still think of him often, particularly when the legislature is in session. It’s unfortunate to say that Grumpy passed away in August 2020 at the age of 89. His death was followed by the passing of my oldest brother by just a couple of weeks, which is another tie that binds us.

As I watch the current state of politics, particularly in Washington DC, I wonder what would happen if people were forced to sit next to each other at the bar for a couple of hours.

Photo courtesy of https://www.travelsouthdakota.com/pierre/arts-culture-history/historic-sites/south-dakota-state-capitol

Groundhog Day

Every day is a new opportunity to embrace change and look forward to what the future holds. As we celebrate Groundhog Day, let’s remember that no matter what the outcome may be, we have the power to make the most of every moment and create our own sunshine.

One of my favorite movies is “Groundhog Day” starring Andie McDowell and Bill Murray. The movie focuses on Murray’s character who repeats the same day over and over again. During his repetition, he experiences a broad range of emotions. At first, he is frustrated and unhappy. He feels trapped living the same day repeatedly. Eventually, he decides this is an opportunity to become a better person and improve. If you haven’t watched the movie yet, I highly recommend it to you.

Whenever I watch the movie ‘Groundhog Day’, I can’t help but contemplate what I would do if I woke up every day to the same events as the day before. Would I take advantage of the opportunity to better myself, my community, my country, and the world? Or would I live recklessly and take unnecessary risks?

At the start of 2024, I set some goals for myself. Time has flown by and we’re already almost 10% of the way through the year. Today, I took some time to reflect on how I’ve been doing so far. Unfortunately, I haven’t made significant progress towards my more important goals. For instance, I had planned to write a blog post every week, but this is the first post I’ve written since December.

I will be glad to help you with that. Here’s a corrected version with clearer language and proper punctuation:

Referring to today’s theme of Groundhog Day, I aim to be more like Bill Murray’s character in the movie’s ending. I believe that every day is precious and should not be squandered. Therefore, my goal for February is to write one meaningful blog post every week.

To achieve your goals, it’s important to regularly measure and evaluate progress. I’ll follow up in a week to report my progress. Have a fantastic week!

No More Gratitude Challenge

There is no gratitude challenge post today. The 2024 Challenge is over. But you can still be grateful. While there are a lot of ugly things in the world, there is a lot of beauty if you open your eyes, heart, and mind. I’m not sure if I would have notice the beauty in this picture 30 days ago but I do now.

When the past meets the present

It has been a while since I have written here. As usual, life gets in the way and writing becomes less of a priority. I hope to change this as November is just around the corner and I am planning another 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

Technology is amazing. This weekend I read an article about a student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln who used technology to “unroll” carbonised scrolls found in the ruins of Pompeii. With the assistance of technology, we may be able to rediscover a library that is nearly 2000 years old. Perhaps we will learn about things lost to time.

In my own life, technology allows me to listen to virtually any song I want. I have thousands of movies and TV shows available at the click of a button. More importantly, technology allowed me to find my past and make it the present.

I have previously written about my adoption reunion. Technology (23&Me and Ancenstry.com) made the reunion possible. What readers may not know is that I have sister who died before I was born. My parents rarely (once or twice) talked about her. I didn’t ask. All I knew was an approximate year and location of her her birth and death. When my father passed away, my mom included my sister on their headstone.

It’s strange feeling a connection to someone you never met. Yet, I have always felt a connection. I few years ago, I used technolgoy to locate my sister. I was able to find and who died at three days old. I used findagrave.com to locate the cemetery where she was buried. I was able to use the cemetery website to locate her gravesite.

She is buried in Lakewood Cemetery in Minneapolis. It is a beatuful cemetery located south of uptown Minneapolis next to Bde Maka Ska. “Long considered one of the most beautiful cemeteries in the country, it was modeled after the rural cemeteries of 19th-century France, such as Père-Lachaise in Paris.”

Her grave is tucked in the south end of the cemetery near service building in a secluded area. She is buried in area with other children. In her “row” of 18 children, the oldest is 8. Eleven of the eighteen chilrden liast an age of zero. Most of the graves are unmarked (12 of 18). I have visted her gravesite several times over the past few years. It is a very peaceful but sad place.

The first time I visited, I was shocked that my sisters grave was one of the unmarked graves. Over the next few years, I wondered why my parents would not mark her grave. It bothered me. It bothered me so much that earlier this year, I contacted the cemetery about placing a headstone. After some conversations, we agreed upon a design. It is made from grantie quarried in South Dakota. I was told the earliest it would be ready would be spring of 2024. Imagine my joy last week when the cemetery sent me the picture attached to this blog post.

Soon I will visit and beable to know exactly where my sister is buried. So will others who may vist that area of the cemetery where the past meets the present.

Below are the names of the other children buried in my sisters row. I place them here to make sure they are not forgotten.

  1. ELSIE J FERGUSON
  2. BABY KNIGHT
  3. CHARLES R FOSTER
  4. ELIZABETH HOOVER
  5. FREDERICK NEWTON
  6. EARLING LUNDHIEM
  7. BABY ANDERSON
  8. JENNIE CATHERINE SAARE
  9. DOROTHY A. ROSCHE
  10. FLORENCE WILLIAMSON
  11. ROBBIN DARNELL THOMAS

Gotcha Day

My parents wanted to have a big family. Prior to my arrival, my parents had four biological children. Three of the four had developmental disabilities with one passing away at three days old. For many reasons, they chose to pursue adoption to expand their family.

I am eternally grateful for all she (and my dad) did in raising me. I never had to worry about clothing, food, or shelter. We took many great vacations. Holidays provided many good memories. Like many families, there were struggles and challenges but I have always known they did the best they could.

Growing up, I asked my mom a lot of questions about my adoption. She tried to answer as many as she could. One day I asked her to tell me how they got me. Was there a store? A mail-order catalog? Did I just show up on their front porch and say hello? She assured me they didn’t get me from a store or a catalog. She said my sister was just teasing when she said I was found under a rock.

All this information is good, but it didn’t answer the question. How did you get me? My mother began to tell the story about how my parents secretly met with a local adoption agency (Lutheran Social Services). My parents told very few people they were considering adoption. Back then, adoption was not a sure thing. She said they asked lots of questions about a lot of things and hoped that they answered correctly so that they could adopt. But she still didn’t answer my question.

So I asked again. How did you get me? She told me they weren’t sure they were going to get me or anyone else. However, one day long before they know of me, my mom went to see a psychic. Given this was the late 60s, I suppose she could have done worse things. She said the psychic looked at her and said “You are going to have another child but this one is different. My mom quizzically asked, “What do you mean?” The psychic looked at my mom and said, “This child will come to you on a plane.” And so it was on this day many years ago, that I flew on a plane with a lady from the adoption agency to meet my family for the first time. Some days are more important than others. This is an important day for me.

1234 and beyond

On February 29, 2020, the first death related to the coronavirus in the United States was reported. At the time nearly 3,000 people worldwide had died. Less than 100 confirmed cases existed in the United States. Little did any of us know how our lives would change over the next few weeks, months, and years.

This post isn’t about the pandemic. This post is about something else that happened on February 29, 2020. It was the last day that I took fewer than 10,000 steps. I don’t recall why I took a break from my standard step regimen that day but I did. Perhaps I was tired.

I recall that I resolved to start a new streak on March 1, 2020. My original goals were to 1) beat my old streak (which escapes me but I think was about 180 days), 2) keep the streak alive for at least 365 days, and 3) keep the streak alive for the duration of the anticipated pandemic – however long.

So here we are over three years later and the streak continues. To be precise, one thousand two hundred thirty-four days have one and gone since the last leap day. 1, 234 is a number that is orderly, progressive, and linear. A number that stands for so much.

I have faced many obstacles during the streak, including work, illness, weather, travel, and motivation. I have learned much about myself and achieved more than I could imagine. Mostly, I have learned to believe in myself and work steadily each day. I am proud of the streak.

Earlier in the streak, I averaged over 20,000 steps a day. My current trend is averaging 12,000-13,000 steps per day. So the pace is slowing but the drive to keep it going is not. Someday, the streak will end. Yesterday was not the day it ended. I have no plans to end it today either.

Communication and Storytelling

I have quietly been working on several post ideas. Yet, I have not completed them. I want to write and publish posts I love. This post has been in the hopper too long and needs to come out. I do not love this post. This post has taught me that communicating a good story is hard to do.

Recently, I watched the final episode of Ted Lasso (assuming season 3 is the last). I’ve enjoyed the show since I stumbled upon it by chance during season 1. The writing, the characters (and character development), the setting, and the story are wonderful.

It is a show about hope and optimism. One article describes the show as “a pandemic bastion, to be sure, a paean to the kind of niceness and positivity we’d like to believe will win the day amid a world that grows more cynical every passing moment.” Sure it gets a little over the top with its positivity, but it has a great message. Also, it is littered with 80s references that take me to a happy time in my life.

The show teaches (or reminds us of) many lessons. Here are three things I take away from this series. First, search for alternative explanations. Don’t always assume the worst. Perhaps someone is having a bad day, week, month, or even year. Next, the show demonstrates the importance of giving and receiving grace. Finally, the show demonstrates and enforces the importance of storytelling.

Fans of the show will remember the dart scene in Season 1. This scene is an example of great storytelling. In less than four minutes we learn a lot about Ted. We learn Ted played darts with his dad. We learn his dad passed away when he was 16. We see what happens we assume things about people. We learn to focus on ourselves and not what others think of us. We learn to not underestimate people. Perhaps most importantly, we learn to be curious about other stories. Thank you storytelling!

Storytelling allows humans to connect the present to the past. It allows us to explore and understand the human experience – both now and in the past. Storytelling allows us to look backward to find solutions to current challenges. During a season 3 episode, Ted’s son, ex-wife, and her boyfriend visit. During the visit, Ted feels the strain of being a distant parent (he lives in the UK while his son lives in the US). He longs to be closer and more connected with his son. Ted believes he is missing too much by being on another continent. Additionally, Ted is distracted. Ted is preoccupied with a trip his ex-wife takes to Paris with her boyfriend. Ted frets about whether she will get engaged in Paris. He is so distracted that he isn’t present for his son and his son feels alone and alienated.

But storytelling to the rescue! Late in the episode, Ted, his son, and Coach Beard are sitting outside the pub on Richmond Green listening to a man perform songs. In the scene, Ted’s son recognizes the performer playing the Beatles song Hey Jude. Because Ted loves the Beatles, so does his son. Yet, Ted barely acknowledges the recognition and steps away to take a phone call. The dialogue between Coach Beard and Ted’s son demonstrates why we need stories Coach Beard ties the lyrics and genesis of the songt to the current situation with Ted’s son together. The viewer and Ted’s son is left with a better understanding of the current situation. Take a sad song and make it better.

Shortly after this episode aired, I listened to a podcast by Scott Galloway aka Prof G. I like listening to Prof. G. He is insightful and sharp. While I don’t always agree, I always learn something from him. I enjoy his direct, off-color, and occasionally bombastic style. He is wicked smart and brutally honest. His May 5, 2023 musing ponders the importance of storytelling. When asked which skill kids should acquire to best compete in the modern economy: Galloway unequivocally answers – storytelling.

Galloway argues that “Communities with larger proportions of skilled storytellers experience greater levels of cooperation.” Galloway outlines five ways to get better at storytelling. Listen – read widely and ask questions. Evaluate – Test your ideas. Frame -Find a way to express your thoughts in a compelling manner. Be Fearless – Open yourself up to the rejection of your story. Deliver – Once you know what to say, say it in as few words as possible. Overall, his point is to get in the game.

All of this prompted me to ponder the importance of human interaction. Recent changes and events have caused us to drift apart. The ease we can “communicate” via technology means many interactions are electronic only. Most of the electronic mediums, don’t allow for the personal and immediate feedback. We don’t know if our receipent has received our message. Often we respond without fully understanding the message. Effective and/or difficult communication is challenging electronically. Perhaps we need to do more in person.

Birthdays

For most, birthdays are significant. It marks another revolution around the sun. Another year of thriving, surviving, or something in between. It is a cause for celebration and reflection.

Today I am celebrating another year. The older I get, the more precious these are. We all have friends and family who will not see another birthday.

I have not always been in a celebratory mood on my birthday. If you recall my last post, I talked about the last time I saw my father. Originally, I wasn’t going to stop at the house to see him that night. Why would I stop? After all, I was going to see him the next day when we gathered to celebrate my birthday.

For many years my birthday has been a painful reminder of one of my darkest days. I can still hear the quiver in my mother’s voice as she told me my father had unexpectedly passed away. I remember the spot I was standing when I received word. I was golfing at the time and had to tell the golf group what had happened. We were all young, far too young to experience this.

Since that day, I have worked to use the day not only to reflect and mourn what was lost that day but also to celebrate. So today, I will take time to reflect on my father. The gifts he gave me. I’ll tell him what has happened over the last year. I will honor him.

I will also celebrate. My celebration today will be different. Today, for the first time, I will be celebrating my birthday with the woman the gave birth to me. So today should be a very good day.

27 years

The picture attached to this post is of my father. This picture captures so much about him.

You can see the intensity in his eyes and his constant drive for precision and perfection. His subtle smile lets you know his joy of sailing and being captain of the ship. His firm yet relaxed grip on the tiller lets all know he was in control. Though his smile wasn’t always present, the other traits were.

Perhaps the only things missing in this photo are a cigarette and a martini. But perhaps he didn’t need those when he was captain of the ship.

Today marks 27 years since I last saw him alive. I still remember the voice telling me to stop by my parent’s house that night. I remember having a great conversation with my dad though I do not recall what we discussed. I remember hugging him, telling him I would see him tomorrow, that I loved him and leaving. And I remember the phone call with my mother the following day when she told me the terrible news that my father had died. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. But it wasn’t yesterday it was 27 years ago.