Tag: Memories

Reflections from the past

Although I usually don’t write about politics, this story is more about people and relationships than it is about politics.

It was a unique moment in the history of South Dakota. It was a time of great political turmoil, nine months after the tragic plane crash that claimed the lives of the governor and seven others. With the Democratic party controlling the state senate and the Republican party controlling the state house, the stage was set for an intense election year. The Republican Governor, Walter Dale Miller, was about to face a primary challenge from the former governor Bill Janklow, who would later go on to win both the primary and the general election. As a rookie lobbyist and political enthusiast, I was fortunate enough to witness this historic event and learn about politics and the legislative process firsthand.

I learned about the importance of understanding the process and procedure of the legislature. I learned about strategy and advocacy. However, the most important lesson I learned was the importance of personal relationships.

To provide some context, South Dakota has a longstanding reputation as a conservative state, with a political landscape that has traditionally been dominated by Republicans both in the legislature and the governor’s office. As a lobbyist, I was faced with the challenge of garnering support for my proposed bills from lawmakers on both sides of the political spectrum, even when their views were at odds with my own. This required a delicate balancing act and a nuanced approach to negotiation and persuasion.

One day early in my career, I was working a couple of bills. This involved discussion with several committee members about the merits of the bill. I thought I had done a good job. I spoke to most of the committee. All indicated support for the bill.

There was one committed member I didn’t lobby. Arrogantly, I thought I didn’t need to lobby him. I had enough votes. I didn’t need his vote. Plus, his nickname was “Grumpy” and I was intimidated. This was a big mistake.

During committee testimony, Grumpy began peppering me with questions about the bill. The inquiry was sharp and relevant. With each question, I could feel my chances slipping away. Soon, the testimony closed, and the committee began discussing the bill. After some back and forth, Grumpy motioned to kill my bill. The motion passed, and my bill was defeated.

After losing the vote, I left the committee room on the fourth floor of the capital and walked down to the second floor where the Governor’s office was located. As I walked along the hallways, I noticed paintings of former governors hanging on the walls. Feeling sorry for myself, I spoke to the portraits and asked for guidance. The former governors spoke to me clearly and advised me not to underestimate anyone, not to assume anything and to know how each committee member plans to vote before the meeting. They also suggested I talk to Grumpy first.

Later that day, I headed to the basement bar of the Kings Inn Hotel to meet up with some friends. The bar, affectionately called “The Pit”, was bustling with activity as usual. Upon my arrival before my friends, I began to look for an open seat to settle in. Luckily, I spotted a vacant spot at the bar and quickly claimed it. However, to my surprise, I realized that I was sitting right beside someone who appeared to be in a sour mood – Grumpy.

Grumpy was more formally known as Representative Al Waltman. He addressed me and expressed his concern by saying, “Hey, I hope you’re not upset with me for killing your bill today.” I fibbed and replied, “No, not at all. It’s part of the process. You made some valid points.” I anxiously searched for my friends. This incident took place before cell phones became prevalent, so I couldn’t use text messaging, Snapchat, WhatsApp, or any other messaging app to contact my friends and request their help.

What happen next was unexpected. We started conversing like two ordinary human beings. It turned out that Waltman hailed from my dad’s hometown. Despite being only a year apart, they moved in different social circles an didn’t know each other. Interestingly, Waltman had graduated from high school with my uncle but didn’t know him either. As we talked, we discussed various topics ranging from family, religion, politics, hobbies, and anything else that came to mind. When my friends finally appeared, I told them I would catch up with them later at a different location.

Waltman and I continued our conversation. We even talked about the bill. By the end of the conversation, he understood my position with the bill. “Why didn’t you just talk to me before committee?”, he asked. I didn’t have a good answer. But I did say, “I promise I won’t make that mistake again.” By the end of our conversation we became friends. I don’t remember if I met up with my friends.

From that night forward, whenever a bill was presented before Waltman’s committee, I would talk to him before the hearing. He would ask me tough questions and make an effort to understand my perspective. He would inform me about his stance on the bill and suggest what changes were necessary to gain his support. Sometimes, he would also offer to help the bill. Whatever his stance, he always kept his word.

We had differing political and religious views, as well as being from different generations. However, our shared love for South Dakota and respect for the process brought us together as colleagues and friends. Grumpy tried to stop some of my bills over the years. Sometimes I won and sometimes he did, but we always maintained mutual respect for each other.

I stopped lobbying around the same time Al Waltman left the legislature, and our paths never crossed again. Despite this, I still think of him often, particularly when the legislature is in session. It’s unfortunate to say that Grumpy passed away in August 2020 at the age of 89. His death was followed by the passing of my oldest brother by just a couple of weeks, which is another tie that binds us.

As I watch the current state of politics, particularly in Washington DC, I wonder what would happen if people were forced to sit next to each other at the bar for a couple of hours.

Photo courtesy of https://www.travelsouthdakota.com/pierre/arts-culture-history/historic-sites/south-dakota-state-capitol

Day 5 Gratitude Challenge

I today grateful for an extra hour of sleep. It is well documented the importance of good sleep. I am feel better and function better after a good sleep.

I must confess that I am disappointed I myself. I got a late start yesterday, got distracted with editing pictures, and never paid it forward. I will do so today. BUT it is important to give grace – to others and yourself. Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

For today, I want you to focus on a cherished memory. Make a list of your top five cherished memories. This take time to think about each memory and why you cherish it. Bonus points if you write all this down and share it. You can share it with family members or friends.

I won’t bore you with five of my most cherished memories. Truth is, I have probably bored you already with cherished memories in previous posts. However, I will share two cherished memories here.

The first happened many years ago in 1991. As many know, I am a long time Minnesota Twins fan. Through a stroke of luck, my best friend and I were able to get tickets to Game 7 of the 1991 World Series. If you have a spare three hours today, you can watch the game here. Attending that game, in that stadium, at that stage of my life, with my best friend and fellow Twins fan was an amazing moment. For those that don’t know, the Twins won the game 1-0 in 10 innings. I still get chills, thinking about the game and celebration after the Twins victory.

A second cherished memory involve a spontaneous trip to Minneapolis with my wife and youngest child. My beloved Vikings were scheduled to play his beloved Lions. The Vikings were having a great season. The Lions were awful that year ending the season with a 2-14 record (though that was an improvement over 0-16 the previous season). We stayed at a hotel that was relatively new at the time. Side note: We continue to stay at that hotel when we can. Imagine our surprise when we discovered the Detroit Lions were also staying at the hotel.

As the Lions team meetings wrapped up, players headed back to the rooms for good sleep before the big game. There was only one way to get to the room, and that way it was blocked by my son with a sharpie, notebook, and a smile. He even tracked a couple of players into the bathroom. By the end of the evening, he had obtained the autograph of most of the players. His prized autograph was of the quarterback Matthew Stafford, who not only signed his notebook, but also signed the Matthew Stafford jersey that he was wearing. The next morning the team left a hat for him. While at the game one of the Lions players remembered him from the hotel and handed him a football.

As I write this, I am smiling because it was such a wonderful experience for all of us. It almost turned me into a Lions fan! The pictures attached to this post show my son getting the autograph of Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson.

Long story short, we all have cherished memories that bring back good feelings. While it is unhealthy to dwell on the past, it’s OK every once in a while to think about those special moments.

Day 24 Gratitude Challenge

Today is Thanksgiving. Many have the day off from work. Many will gather with friends and family to overeat, watch football, and tell stories. What a fantastic tradition to gather In gratitude with those you care about.

Today I am reminded of past Thanksgivings. Growing up we shared Thanksgiving with close family friends. I have many great memories from those gatherings. In more recent years, our family gathers at a local club for amazing food and disappointing football (my youngest is a Detroit Lions fan). We gather again with a larger group (three generations) in a couple of days.

Today, rather than blog to start the day, my faithful companion took me for a walk. During the walk, I took time to think about all the things I am grateful for. I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for my health and the health of those I care about. I am grateful for my home. I am grate for the opportunities I have. I am grateful for my job, my coworkers, customers, and organization. I am grateful for so much more than listed here but this is a start.

Todays’s challenge is to make a list. Make it a long list. What are you grateful for? Include everything whether big or small.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for reading.

Day 4 – Cherished Memories

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. And when he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

Yesterday’s challenge called for one to live in the present with gratitude. Do not focus on the past for it is done. Do not dream about the $1.5 billion lottery I will win on Saturday. Imagine those gratitude posts! Live now with what is happening now. Enjoy the moment because it is here.

So what happened? Yesterday was hectic. I had several meetings that took more time than anticipated. Issues popped up throughout the day that we unexpected. And there was a funeral. A funeral of a friend who died too young. Trying to be present at a funeral is challenging. It puts perspective on everything. Life is precious. Each day is a gift. And we are so interconnected.

Today’s challenge requires us to focus on cherished memories. Rarely do we understand the value of experience until it has passed. Below, I outline a cherished memory.

In the late spring of 1996, I moved to a new community. One of the first people I met were young married couple about my age. We quickly hit it off and became friends. Less than a month after moving, this couple invited me to go golfing with them on a Saturday. They heard it was my birthday and wanted to make sure it was special. The course is a small tight nine-hole golf course with small greens. We played the first nine holes fairly quickly and decided to play another 9. As we came off the number 3 green, a golf cart driven by a young kid approached us with a note.

The note was for me. The note said “Paramedics called. Call your mom at home.” I jumped in the cart and rode back to the clubhouse (cellphones were not widely used yet). In the clubhouse, I called my mother and learned that my father had unexpectedly passed away.

I drove back to my friends and told them what happened. It’s an awkward moment when you tell friends your dad died. I suspect it’s worse when you are still in your 20s. The wife immediately gave me a big hug. The comfort and calm I felt with that hug was exactly what I needed at that moment. The husband hugged me too but we were 20 something guys and it was awkward..but he meant well. I don’t remember much after that except I left the golf course and drove 30 minutes to my mother’s house.

A few months later this couple would move to a different community. However, our lives would intersect many times. We eventually moved to the same community. We ran into each other at church, social events, and restaurants. Our oldest and their youngest went through confirmation together.

Every time I saw either of them, I remembered that day in 1996 when two people I barely knew, treated me with such care, compassion, and kindness when my father passed. I don’t think I ever thank them for their kindness. Yet, that moment on the golf course is one of my most cherished memories.

Unfortunately, Shannon passed away in March 2021. Yesterday, I went to Lee’s funeral. I hope that Shannon greeted Lee with a big hug when he passed. Both died too young but I will always have that memory of the moment on the golf course. I am grateful for that memory.

Momento Mori

Today is a day of reflection for me. Two years ago, I went to bed unaware my life was about to change. My oldest brother Jeff had tested positive for Covid-19 ten days prior. He was holding his own and showing mild symptoms. Many, myself included, thought he was going to survive. Yet, at around 2am, a police officer notified us that my brother had passed.

My brother was the 200th person in my state to die with Covid. As of this writing, the number of deaths is over 3,000. I don’t wish to argue about the pandemic. Rather, I want to talk about one of the things the pandemic taught me.

The pandemic taught me life is precious. It can be taken in a moment. The pandemic also reminded me that we are all mortal. We will all die. Towards that end, each day is important. It is important to embrace what life gives you each day.

So I close by asking a favor, before you go to bed tonight (and every night), tell those you love how much they mean to you. For if something should happen before you wake, let the final words be ones of love and gratitude.

Look in the box

Warning – This post has little relationship to the purpose of this blog. As many may know, we are doing some remodeling in our home. This has required us to temporarily move out to another location. Because we have lived in the same house for nearly 18 years, moving out has been quite a task. We have accumulated a massive amount of stuff, junk, trinkets, Knick-knacks, and memories while in this home.

Preparing for the remodel has required us make decisions about the “stuff.” Yesterday, as we were finishing cleaning out the house, my wife asked me to “take care” of a box on a shelf in our closet. I gave her a quizzical look and said “Are you sure that’s my box?” After a couple of eye rolls and sighs, she informed me it was my box. She also let me know that that box has been bothering her for years. For once, I said nothing back.

I approached this with excitement. A potential adventure if you will. For nearly 18 years, I had no idea this was “my” box. What was I going to find in “my” box? It was like opening an 18 year old time capsule!

With the help of chair, I carefully lifted the box off the top shelf in a closet. It was covered in layers of dust. No doubt this box had been the shelf for 18 years. I carefully lowed the box to the floor because it could have delicate treasure. Perhaps something from our wedding. Or maybe romantic cards we had sent to each other when dating.

Then I open the lid to reveal the treasure. First, I found a shower curtain I purchased at Grand Hotel. We went there won our honeymoon and have returned many times since. The picture above is from the first time our family went there together. I highly recommend you go.

Back to “my” treasure trove box. After carefully removing the shower curtain, my eyes couldn’t believe what I saw. The box, which was a bankers box, was full of ….. bank statements. All of bank statements predated my marriage. The statements were in banded together by year in chronological order. The most recent bank statement noted was from March 2001.

This was all that was in the box. A shower curtain and bank statements from my “Independent Jason” days. Clearly, this was worth the wait.

Yet, as I have thought about it, something can be learned. Perhaps there is something you have been keeping that you need to let go. Is there a box on your shelf? Take some time today to unpack the old box and get rid of the stuff you don’t need.

PS – When I told my wife what was in the box, I started with the bank statements – another eye roll was seen. Then I mentioned the shower curtain. My wife wants the shower curtain form the apartment. Sorry, it was in “my” box.

Spring and hope

In season one of the hit series Ted Lasso, the main character gives a locker room talk about hope. My take away is hope sustains us and gives us reason to move forward. Hope gives us reason to believe that things are possible.

Yesterday, while spending too much time on social media, I found a picture of the “first bloom” of our state flower. The picture is above.

The picture triggered a flood of thoughts and emotions. Instantly, I was transported to my hometown. I was reminded of the joy that spring flowers bring. The beauty of the lavender, yellow and green tones against the brown pine needles are stunning. It has been many years since I have seen this bloom. I would love to see it again.

The picture reminded me of the hope that spring brings. Winter in South Dakota can be harsh. It often teases you by warming up for brief periods in February and March only to get cold and snowing again. There is very little color present. But slowly, The colors begin to emerge. And with the reemergence of color comes hope.

Finally, I was reminded of my mother. When I was a young child I would go outside of our house to pick several of these flowers and make a spring bouquet for my mother. She always acted like it was the best gift she had ever received. The flowers would quickly die and wither. I would pick another bouquet. (I note it is illegal to pick the state flower on public property).

So on this first day of April when many play jokes on each other, take time to be hopeful because spring is here and new opportunities occur.

Day 4 of the Gratitude Challenge

Some days are harder than other. Did you thank anyone yesterday? Did anyone thank you? Did it change your outlook on the day?

Understand this challenge is not all about rainbows, puppy dogs, fairy tales and Hallmark movies. Life is challenging. There are significant obstacles to success. However, if you can spend a few moments each day focusing on gratitude, you life can be dramatically improved.

Today, ponder the happy moments in your life. What are the memories that bring a smile to your face? What memories make you laugh or just feel better?

There are so many memories in my life for which I am grateful. A few examples:

-My wedding day. I remember it raining. I remember my wife worrying about the rain. I remember looking at my wife and wondering how did I get so lucky.

-The birth of my son. I remember the excitement and anticipation of the day. I remember the joy, love, and excitement I felt when I first held him.

-Game 7 of the 1991 World Series. I remember the tension of the game. I remember the crowd reacting to every small glimmer of hope. I remember the joy when the Twins scored the winning run in the bottom of the 10th inning. But mostly I remember spending the day with my best friend.

What are you most cherished memories? Think about them, tell somebody about them today and reflect with gratitude how those moments made your life better.